Rising Sun
by Annalisa B. Crawford
Summary: New Moon: Edward hasn't come back yet, and Bella's been changed by Victoria. What do the wolves think of her? She goes up to Denali for help, and sees loved ones she thought she'd never see again. All but one. Guess who! My first Fanfic, so be nice!
1. Uninvited Visitor

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight.**

**And now, it's time for... Bella's POV! These chapters are going to be much longer that the last few, but I'll try not to let them get too long. I just hate cutting one story into several pieces.**

**Enjoy!**

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_Bella_

It was spring break in Forks again. When I woke up on Monday morning, I lay in bed for a few seconds absorbing that. Last spring break, I'd been hunted by a vampire, too. I hoped this wasn't some kind of tradition forming.

Already I was falling into the pattern of things in La Push. I'd spent Sunday mostly on the beach, while Charlie hung out with Billy at the Black's house. I was supposed to be with Jacob, but Jacob had other things to do, so I wandered alone.

Today, instead of wandering alone on the beach, I decided to take a hike. I wasn't worried about the terrible bear problem anymore, and there was somewhere that has been on my mind lately.

I've been thinking more and more about _his_ meadow since my last escapade there. I knew adrenaline and danger were key to my lunatic hallucinations, but my last visit there was traumatic enough. Perhaps I could meditate on that long enough to hear him again. With Charlie in La Push more often now, the motorcycles were out of the question, and I was getting desperate.

I didn't catch Jacob before he left on another run, and Billy was at the Clearwater's with Charlie, so I left a note on the kitchen table. I told Jacob the beach was getting a little old and I would head up to that meadow again. It ended up being very close to La Push, perhaps within earshot with his strange wolfy ears. Of course Jacob didn't like my being out of La Push, but the distance was so small, and I really needed to hear my velvet voice again.

It took me about half an hour to get to my meadow. A record, even with the new shortcut. Very pathetic, how I run after something I should be put in an asylum for.

An asylum. I sighed and shook my head, trying not to see the memory that was attempting to breach my carefully built wall.

As I entered the symmetrical circle, I couldn't help but gasp at its beauty. The springtime had all of the wildflowers blooming again. The sun was shining bright-I shuddered. I could almost see the glistening figure. The edges of my hole were smoldering.

But this wasn't why I was here. If I couldn't produce a recreation of my meeting with Laurent, I would leave.

I walked over and sat right down in the middle of the clearing. I visualized the giant wolves, the growling, Laurent's crimson eyes; a shudder went down my spine. Good, I thought, this is the direction I wanted to go.

As the sun beat down gently on my face, I couldn't help but lie back and close my eyes. As I did so, I felt hyperaware that I was alone. It was a feeling of danger. I suddenly wished Jacob had come with me, or I had not come at all.

I nearly leaped up from my position if not for the answer to my fears.

"Lay still, love." He crooned. A smile spread across my face. This was the first time my voice called me something like _love_.

_What am I afraid of?_ I asked him.

"Shh. It is important you stay quiet."

_Why?_

"Being alone like this is very dangerous."

_It doesn't matter much to me anymore._

"You need to keep yourself safe- for Charlie."

_Charlie._ I repeated with a sigh.

After a moments pause, something else happened; his face popped into view behind my eyelids.

I smashed my eyes tighter together, as if that would make this vision disappear. Usually when I saw his face, the pain was unbearable. Instead, this added a little extra calm. The burn from my hole considerably lessened.

"Edward," I breathed. I shouldn't have; it hurt, and the voice didn't answer. _Edward? Edward, where are you?_ I shouted at the nothingness. The feeling of aloneness returned as hard as hitting a wall. _Edward, come back,_ I pleaded weakly.

It felt like a cool hand touched mine.

I held my breath. This was going too far. I must have fallen asleep; my hallucinations were getting out of control. Waking up would be a good idea.

But the aloneness was gone again. _Why not_, I thought. This was going to hurt very much later, and I might as well take everything I can.

I gently moved my hand, and felt the cold leaf fall off. I ignored that fact, though. It was easy to believe that was a touch from a cold hard hand.

"Hello, child."

I popped up to a sitting position. This time, the voice was not in my head. It was several feet away from me, at the edge of the meadow. My jaw nearly dropped as I saw him standing there. The same crooked smile expression from my eyelids was there in front of me. I recognized the pale, marble-like skin. He was standing in the sun, so brilliant rainbows which I have not seen in too long were bouncing all over. But something was off; the hair seemed too long and not the precise color bronze. And his eyes. Something was very wrong about his eyes.

As I noticed these differences, the Edward parts began fading. I quickly realized this was not a he standing in front of me.

This was a she.

The brilliant fire-red hair and jet-black eyes told me immediately who this was, before she spoke another word.

"Do you remember me, love?" Victoria said.

I nearly blurted out some incoherent answer, but snapped my teeth together. Better to keep the same story as I told Laurent.

"I've been waiting for you a long time," she continued. "Nearly a year ago today, was it not?"

I immediately knew what she was talking about.

"Victoria." I meant to sound confident, but my heart was stuck in my throat.

"Yes, I'm here." She sounded smug.

"I- I- I spo-oke w-with L-L-Laurent." Gosh, how annoying my nerves are. And the ferocious growling in my head wasn't helping, either.

"Oh? And what did he have to say?" Her expression changed to honest surprise.

"H-he…" I could only think of the bright red eyes, and his words. _If you knew what she had planned for you…_

"He told you why I've been looking for you, hadn't he?"

"Yes," I mouthed.

"Ah. So, what has happened to him? I haven't seen him in a while." She seemed fairly uninterested.

"Th-the wolves killed him."

"What?" This seemed to have brought on some memory. I'm sure she remembers Jake and Sam's pack racing after her. Her reaction was so quick, though, that if I would have blinked I would have missed it.

"He was about to attack me, and the wolves saved me." Perhaps he will have found my note and gotten angry, racing out here to get me by now. Probably not.

"Well, I guess I'll have to make this quick then." Nope, no time for Jake to come. My heart beat sporadically; I'm sure she heard that. "I wanted to have a little fun with my revenge. You caused me a lot of pain, you know. The least I can do is return it, don't you think? Isn't that fair?"

I closed my eyes. So this was it. I meditated on the brilliant growling I heard and the beautiful face behind my lids. Let it all come out, one more time. This time, I won't feel the pain at all. _Edward, Edward. Edward, I love you. You are my life Edward. You always will be._

Nothing happened for a few seconds. I wondered if she decided on no pain. Her eyes were dark as night, so she must have been very thirsty. I hoped I was already dead.

"Any final words?" I heard her ask sarcastically. Darn, not gone yet.

"Edward, I love you." I haven't said this in months, a millennia to me. The words were so beautiful. My body entirely relaxed into a sleepy hunch. Tears wanted to brim over; I could never say this again. I looked at her, waiting for her to start.

"I'll tell him that," she said heartlessly.

In one lightning-fast movement, I felt the _whoosh_ of air around me and I heard my back crack against a tree trunk. She held me sitting upright. But then she did something unexpected. She pushed my head back, exposing my neck. I sucked in an involuntary breath. Immediate death? I could handle this.

I felt the sharp snap of my skin as she cut two crescent shape scars. I waited for everything to go black.

But then, as if I couldn't be more surprised, she pulled away.

She stopped drinking.

She didn't want to kill me; not just yet.

In seconds I fully realized why she was smiling at me so sadistically. My eyes shot down towards my upraised palm. The sun was shining on it, illuminating the two scars.

This time it was her turn for surprise. She whipped her head back and forth between me and my hand.

"James bit me. Venom can be sucked out," I blurted.

"How?!" She shrieked.

The name twisted it's way out. This wouldn't be happening, if that day went a little differently. "Edward." _I miss you_, I added in my head.

She looked like she would ask more, but the burning finally registered in my slow brain. I let out a blood-curdling scream and began thrashing around, as I had one year ago.

My memories of the burning weren't even close. I forgot just how awful it was. I felt like I was dropped into a great, flaming vat of molten rock.

My senses were entirely taken over; I didn't recall how much time it was until I heard growling.

I couldn't see much of anything from where I lay in the grass. But I certainly could hear a vicious, murderous growl. Of course, I recognized this as my dear Jacob's, followed by Victoria's. Soon after the eruption of growls I heard Sam enter and phase, followed by the last of the pack.

I realized there Jacob was, only a few yards away from me, fighting Victoria. I know he had the rest of the pack to help him, but the thought still unnerved me. What if he got hurt? How could I live with myself?

Then the truth of the matter hit. I couldn't see Jacob. Within a few days, I'm going to be the exact thing he is fighting now. How would he think of me, hard and cold? Would I still be his Bella? Would I repulse him?

Will I be too dangerous? Would I hurt him?

I couldn't let him know I was here. I would lay still and quiet, just as… Carlisle had. Rosalie said there was no point in screaming. And right now, if I did scream, I would alert the pack that a new abomination was near.

Jacob couldn't come suck out the venom as Edward had. It would kill him.

In three days, I would be a vampire.

"Bella? No, no, no, Bella! Bella, where are you?"

I could hear Jacob now, and his voice seemed to be getting closer. I wanted to cry out to him, ease his audible fear for me, but I knew that finding me would be even greater pain.

"Jake, can you hear her?" Quil.

"I don't know… I think so. But the sound is- off." Oh great. The super-sonic hearing means they can hear by heartbeat, too.

"Wait. Oh!" Jacob stopped in his tracks. "Sam, get over here. Now."

I heard the tall grass rustle as Sam met Jacob.

"Oh my."

"Yes! Is that her?"

"Seems human enough… but listen to the heavy breathing."

Oh. Yeah, I was breathing pretty heavy.

"I don't know Jake. Follow, I think that's her."

It took much longer than I expected for Jacob and Sam to reach me. Victoria must have brought me very far.

The relief on Jacob's face nearly made me burst. I wanted so badly to leap and give him one of those huge hugs, but I was in no state for jumping or hugging right now.

"Bella! Bella, are you hurt?" he cried out to me.

All I could do was feebly reach my hand out to him. I held my palm facing away from me, motioning him to stop.

"Sam, I think she's hurt."

"Please tell me, can we move you Bella?"

"She's conscious, that's a good sign."

"Bella?"

"Jake, you have to leave," I croaked.

"Why?" he was completely shocked. "What's wrong here?"

"Me."

Sam looked at Jacob, and nodded. Jacob then reached his huge arms underneath me and picked me up like a child.

"NO! Jacob, PUT ME DOWN!" My limbs flailed around as the force of my pain leaked out.

Hardly noticing my relatively weak struggles, he carried me to someone's minivan just at the edge of the forest, and gently laid me across the backseat.

"Bella, it's okay, it's okay," he soothed. I was shaking, twitching. A product from the burning, but he thought it was from shock and fear.

I could see we were getting all too close to La Push. I'm sure I was over the invisible treaty line made decades ago. But I would do anything to protect the Cullens, if they wanted to come back. If I go over this line, I would break the treaty, and cause war. I may not be a Cullen, but I'm going to be a good vampire. No need to hurt those I still love, no matter how little they love me.

In the fastest and swiftest movement possible, I leapt up and threw open the door. Luckily it wasn't locked. Without taking so much of a glance at the pavement rolling by I jumped from the van, hardly feeling anything over the venom as I landed.

The van screeched to a halt, but before it even stopped moving Jacob was out and running full tilt towards me.

"What in daylight was that for? Bella, what is wrong?!"

I looked up at his face. The burning really was too much; I wasn't sure if I could pull that stunt again.

"Jake, I…" How do I tell him?

"Bella, there is… Oh my goodness!"

He grabbed a fistful of my hair and tugged it away, revealing my neck and its new scar.

"Bella." Uh oh.

He scooped me up, one more time, and was in the truck in seconds. Instead of the backseat this time, I rode in the driver's seat- in his lap.

"Don't think you can jump out again."

"Jacob, listen to me. I CANNOT go to La Push." I couldn't keep from screaming. Screaming seems like something I will be doing a lot now.

"And why not? Why are you screeching like that?"

"Jacob, think. What am I?" I thrashed my hand towards my neck.

He paused for only a second. "The transformation is not complete."

"You may be a little biased."

"Bella." He looked like a father giving a young child a lecture. "I have never told you this, but I have a bigger say in dealings than you may think."

"But Sam…"

"Sam is only pack leader because the real pack leader didn't want to be."

"Who?" I asked.

"Me."

I stared at him with wide eyes, whimpering back my shrieks.

"It's okay. Shh."

That did it.

I seemed to be emitting earsplitting sirens the whole way. We reached Sam's house, and Jacob had me through the door in seconds.

Everyone was there. Emily was sipping some ice water against the sink, and the four boys were convened around the kitchen table. They all stood up when they heard my shrieking and saw Jacob's expression.

"Jacob, what's…?"

"Sam, we have a problem," Jacob interrupted.

He gently laid me down across the kitchen table. I tucked in my knees to fit, and shoved my fist in my mouth to try to stop the noise.

"Look," Jacob pointed.

Everyone looked at my neck. Emily gasped.

"Oh, poor dear." She pitied.

The silence that filled the room was painful. Only my yelping broke it.

Several minutes went by before anyone could speak.

"There's nothing we can do. What's done is done," Sam finally said.

"Bella, you told me this can be sucked out! Tell me how!" Jacob pleaded.

"No, Jake," I howled. "It's too late. Nothing can be done." I think I was understandable, high pitched as I was.

"It is never too late!"

"The venom has spread too long now, Jacob," Sam answered.

"So now what? Is there anything at all?!"

"What's done is done," he repeated. "Now we just sit here and wait."

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**Uh oh, a little bit of a cliffy. Sorry bout that. I should have the next chapter done soon, I just need to find a good place to chop it off and make a clean break (AW! I can't believe I just said "clean break". I swear that was TOTALLY unintentional :D )**

**So yeah, give me a few days and hopefully I'll post again. I can't wait... the next chapter is so cool, for what I have finished.**

**Thanks for reading! Kind critiques/ideas/complements are always apreciated!**


	2. The Change

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight. If I did, I probably wouldn't be typing this on a seven-year old computer that runs like a turtle.**

**Here's the wonderful next chapter. I got some lovely enthusiastic reviews (two already... I only posted this a few hours ago! Thanks guys!) so I went ahead and finished this chapter.**

**What will the wolves think of the new Bella? Will they except her? Enjoy!**

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What happened in the next few days went entirely unnoticed to me. I know I was moved into Jacob's room- he slept on the couch- and there was always someone there to watch over me, usually Jacob. With no more vampire trouble in the woods, the wolves could stay home. Now they just had vampire trouble on Quileute territory.

There weren't many lapses of my mind from the focus of my burning, but once or twice I thought about how to deal with Charlie. What am I going to tell him, when I'm pale, beautiful and all glittery?

Somehow, through all that was happening, I had a gut feeling that something very, very good was going to come out of this. Impossible, because it seemed to look like havoc and broken treaties. But I can't ignore a feeling like that.

Late on the third day, the burning started to change. To my relief, it began draining from my fingertips, toes, hands, feet. Slowly it inched away from my limbs, up and away. But what shocked me is how the pain only intensified in my heart at it subsided from the rest of my body. It felt like all of the fire moved from my body and concentrated in the heart. I heard it finally flutter sporadically, and with one final _ga-lump_, it stopped.

Everyone was there now, knowing the end would be soon. I opened my eyes, looking at the dust motes floating around the ceiling. I could see every color of the spectrum coming off of the lamp next to me, with the addition of one color I could not place. My eyes slowly drifted around the room, taking in how sharp I could see. I felt like I had never seen before. Everything was so sharp.

With difficulty, I forced my eyes to scan around the room at my audience. Only one face mattered; I saw Jacob right away, as he was the closest.

I stared into his deep brown eyes, hoping to read his take on everything. He gasped as he saw my eyes. A new color, I presume. I didn't know anything about newborns.

One of my hands was already being held by his. His skin was almost painfully hot against mine. I must not have noticed it over the fire before. I took my other hand and placed it gently against the side of his face.

"Bella."

He placed one hand over mine on his cheek.

"Hi, Jacob." My voice was like the sound of bells. Everyone's eyes widened at the new sound, and it distracted me until he spoke again.

"Bella, you smell." He pinched his nose comically.

I took a deep breath. The scent coming off of him burned my nose.

"You, too, Jake."

Half a second of silence went by and we all started laughing. Not just Jacob and I, but Sam, Jared, Paul, Embry, Billy, and even Emily was there, giggling. It looks like my fears were for naught. All of the werewolves were joyed by my presence.

"Are you all not angry with me?" I asked.

"Why would we be?" Sam asked, puzzled.

"I'm your worst enemy. Your only kind of enemy, for that matter."

Everyone was silent. A few bowed their beads.

"We had many discussions while you were… out, Bella," Sam said. "We discussed what this would mean for the tribe. We knew, with your history, you would try to be a… good vampire. We knew it was a breach of the treaty for one to cross the line, but you haven't crossed over the line yet. You were still human when we brought you here."

"So now you have to live in La Push forever," Jacob added, winking.

"We also brought you in on our own accord," Sam continued, as without interruption. "You leapt out of a van, showing it was not your free will that brought you here.

Also, we knew you wanted to be good, so we could keep you. You won't be a problem for human society."

"So you're okay, Bella. Nothin' to worry about," Jacob encouraged.

"I don't know what to say," was my best answer.

"Now there is just one thing to deal with," Sam added. "Our legends tell us that newborn vampires are very strong, stronger in the first year than anyone else. They are also supposed to be uncontrollable. Wild, vicious creatures that want nothing but blood. And when they wake from their transformation, they are very thirsty."

As he said the words, I felt the dryness of my throat.

"Which leaves us with a problem. What do we do? You are very much like a newborn child, but we have no idea how to care for you."

"Taking her hunting may be a good idea," Jacob suggested.

"I'm very thirsty," I admitted, looking down.

A few people stepped back. A realization became clear to all of us; it wasn't so safe to be around me anymore.

"Do we smell good to you, Bella?" Jacob asked, raising an eyebrow.

I sniffed. "Ew. No. I told you, you stink."

"But not all of us are werewolves. Emily, Billy, perhaps we should bring you somewhere else." Jacob said.

"No! No, I don't think that's necessary. Hold on." I took one more deep breath. My sense of smell was so new and confusing, but I thought I understood it fairly well. "I'm pretty sure I can smell Billy, and he reminds me of werewolf." He smiled. "Probably from the stellar bloodlines. And Emily," I took another breath from her direction. It was very sweet, and some impulse made me nearly jump from my seat.

Uh oh. "Um, you smell a lot like werewolf from being around them, but-"

Sam stood up.

"I understand. Emily, let me take you home."

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

"It's okay, sweetie," Emily soothed. "I understand, too." She was out in a flash, tugged along by Sam.

Jacob stood next to me, eyes wide.

"What?" Even in this new form, it was so easy to talk to him.

"You just resisted a pure human. And you're minutes old."

"So?"

"_So_," he emphasized, "if our legends about newborns are right, then you are something special."

"Augh. I always knew there was something wrong with me."

"Maybe our legends are wrong. If only we were friends with another vampire…"

I knew everyone's mind went to the Cullens, who were long gone.

But then I realized. They weren't the only good vampires. And the others were a little easier to locate.

"Wait, I think I might."

Everyone just stared in awe… again.

"Um, you don't mean the— _Cullens _—"

"No, no, not them," I tried to end that train of thought. It was just as painful as a vampire as it was human, perhaps more. "There were some other good vampires like the Cullens, up in Alaska. I've never met them, but I know they've heard about me. They're good friends with the Cullens."

Everyone liked the prospect of help, and from vegetarians.

"Anywhere in particular?" Jacob asked.

"Denali."

"How many?"

"Why?" I was puzzled. Numbers seemed unimportant.

"Just curious."

"Um, five, I think."

This produced a whistle from Embry. Jared gave him a kidney jab for it. I realized they didn't like the even numbers between wolf and vampire.

"They're like the Cullens, guys. I can't see why they would fight."

"We never know." Jacob murmured.

"Well, it's still a great idea. I think you should take me up to Alaska."

Jacob sighed. "I guess so. I'll need to check with Sam first, but I'm sure he'll see the practicality of it."

"Why don't you boys take her hunting. She's making me nervous," Billy chimed in.

He reminded me of the thirst. My hand flew to my throat.

"Sure, sure," Jacob replied.

"Um, we need to make sure there are no humans around- when I hunt."

"Why?" Jacob asked.

"Edward told me, a long time ago, that they- I mean _we_ give ourselves over to our senses when we hunt. I couldn't be with him when he hunted, because he was afraid of losing control like that with me there."

"He wanted to take you hunting?!"

"No, I wanted to see it."

"Sick." Paul mumbled this so quietly that with my human ears, I wouldn't have been able to hear it. I certainly could now, and so could Jacob, who smacked him in the back of the head.

"Ow," Paul protested.

"C'mon Bells, let's go."

Jacob took me by the wrist- how casually he touched my new skin- and dragged me out the door.

"Hey, you've never run before," Jacob noted.

"No kidding Jacob, I just woke up."

"Wanna race?" He asked.

"I'll beat you now any day. But okay."

"Three, two, one…"

And I was off. I didn't know where we were headed, but I made it to the forest quickly, and was flying. Running was so exhilarating. I realized I didn't really know where I was going, and Jacob was nowhere to be seen.

I stopped where I was and was surprised by a sound that reminded me of bells. I realized it was my wild laughter.

I listened to this strange sound for only seconds until a great russet-brown wolf came bounding up behind me.

"Couldn't keep up human, huh?" I laughed.

He just pulled back his lips and showed his teeth; but this was not an aggressive move. It was instantly recognized as a grin.

"Much for wildlife out here?" I asked shyly.

He nodded his head yes.

"Well, lets go."

I closed my eyes and tried to let my senses take over. I could hear _everything_.

After a few seconds, I thought I heard some elk nearby. I took in a deep breath. Not so pleasant, but I could deal with anything right now. I was so thirsty. I let my body fly on it's own to the pool of water where the elk were and took the largest buck.

After I was finished, I sighed. Jacob didn't seem to be comfortable.

"Sorry Jake. This is how it is. I'm sorry."

He just shook his big furry head.

The rest of the day continued as such. I found that, even after gorging myself, I was still thirsty. Probably just something I'll have to always deal with.

Of course I had all that time to think, as well. My new mind seemed to have much more room for more things to be going on in my head. I thought a great deal of this gut feeling I still felt, about how my new change could be a good thing. How so? At least my wolf friends still like me. But this was going to be hard on Charlie… definitely not a good thing. And I probably couldn't go to school anymore… that is sure to cause rumors and drama. Plus even if I can control myself in some strange unexplainable way, people will notice the difference.

But the Charlie issue was really bothering me. "Um, Jake…" I said as I put down another elk.

"Yeah?"

"I was gone a long time… Charlie?..."

"That was a difficult decision," Jacob slowly explained. "We didn't know what to tell him. At first we said you came with me on a last minute road trip, and we may be gone for three days or so. But we needed to figure out how to explain the… change…" he stammered, "so I made a big, new impression on him, so to speak."

I just looked at him, puzzled.

"I phased in front of Charlie."

Oh, no, he didn't. "You _what_?"

"I told him he lives in a different world than he thought," he rushed, "and that things are going to be a little different from now on."

"But how could you do that to Charlie? It could've given him a heart attack!"

"Charlie's strong. And I did this all with Billy there; that made it a little easier."

The biggest problem was still looming. "Did you tell him about me?"

"Yes." He seemed smug. "Charlie asked if this was why he couldn't see you, and I told him yes. He actually asked if you were gonna turn into a wolf, too," he laughed, "But I said, 'she wishes.'"

"But he knows I'm going to be different."

"Yes. Billy told him you are still Bella, just… A little different."

Shoot. Well, that problem is solved, I guess.

"Okay," I sighed. "I probably should go see him, then."

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**Whoa, the pack likes Bella! Yay! Now Jake has a bloodsucker on speed dial ;)**

**Now we just have to see what Charlie thinks. And what do you think Bella is going to do? Is she going to go up to Denali? What does she say? Personally, I think she will get to be in Alaska soon...**

**See you next time!**

**As always, kind critique/ideas/complements are LOVED**


	3. Meetings, Greetings, and Memories

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight, though Steph is actually my real name**

**Woo! Another quick chapter! I love this one. I actually was choking up on some parts :'C She still really misses Edward.**

**Me too, hon. Me too.**

**Anywho, Enjoy!**

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_(Recap)_

_[The biggest problem was still looming. "Did you tell him about me?"_

_"Yes." He seemed smug. "Charlie asked if this was why he couldn't see you, and I told him yes. He actually asked if you were gonna turn into a wolf, too," he laughed, "But I said, 'she wishes'."_

_"But he knows I'm going to be different."_

_"Yes. Billy told him you are still Bella, just… A little different."_

_Shoot. Well, that problem is solved, I guess._

_"Okay," I sighed. "I guess I should go see him, then." ] _

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"Are you sure?" Jacob asked me.

"Positive," I answered.

"Don't you think it's dangerous? He's completely human."

"He's my father, Jake. And we'll bring Sam. You two can restrain me, if it gets difficult."

"I just hate for something…"

I cut him off. "Don't worry about it. How bad can it be? The… um, vegetarians can keep themselves restrained so easily. And – Carlisle has completely suppressed his thirst so he can be a doctor." I didn't want to start talking about them but Jacob needed reassurance.

He sighed. "Okay. Fine."

An hour later we had gone back to the house. Sam had returned and so the rest of the pack told him about going up to Denali. He, too, was nervous about their numbers but listened to me when I said they were nice. Jacob also told him what he did about Charlie, and said we were going to see him now.

On our way over there, Sam was curious about what we will say.

"So he knows you will look different," Sam noted, "but he doesn't know why. Jacob, you didn't tell him?"

"I thought that would be Bella's decision to make."

"Okay. Bella? Are you going to tell him straight out?"

I stared at him with wide eyes. "No! That would be stupid!"

"Why? There won't be any secrets that way."

"But, I still want to protect the- _Cullens_. I want to keep their secret. The likeness of me and the Cullens is obvious, don't you think he's smart enough to see that?"

"I see," Sam sighed.

"And besides—well, I can't really explain it, but here is something in the back of my mind… telling me not to say what I am. Like there is an even bigger reason to keep the secret, other than the Cullens. As if it's some huge rule that I can't break."

"Okay okay," Jacob moaned. "We won't. Now put on a smile, he's waiting for us."

I looked up as we pulled into the driveway. Sure enough, Charlie was peeking out of the front window through the blinds. As soon as he saw Jacob and Sam, he stepped away and the blinds snapped shut.

"Here we go," I mumbled under my breath. Jacob wrapped his arm around mine, not out of courtesy but as a restraint.

Both kept their eyes on me as we walked up to the door. I already could smell Charlie; a sweet, overpowering thing that took much of my spacious brain to suppress. Jacob felt me tense, and looked at me. He raised his eyebrows, checking that I still wanted to do this.

"I'm okay, it's fine," I silently whispered. We were at the door now.

Sam knocked, and Charlie opened the door. As soon as the door began to crack open, the _whoosh _of scent wrapped around me. I sucked in a deep breath of outside air and held it.

Jacob and I went in first. All three of us waited for Charlie's reaction.

When he saw me, I thought his eyes may nearly fall out of their sockets. His jaw dropped, and he involuntarily took a step back. His eyes swept up and down, taking in the new me and trying to understand it.

It was then I realized that I hadn't seen myself yet. How that passed me before I do not know. I was just too relieved I was accepted by Jacob.

Several minutes went by in silence. We stared at Charlie, he stared at me.

"Hi, dad," I finally whispered. My new voice was so different, like bells.

"Bella?" He asked in shock.

"Yeah, it's me." I laughed awkwardly, but the sound was still angelic.

"Um—" Charlie continued to gape at me, but put on a big smile. "Bells, welcome home. I've missed you."

"Yeah, you're right Bella… he really CAN'T cook!" Jacob piped in, lifting the mood. "He's been coming to the Clearwater's for dinner, every night!"

"Aw, come on!" Charlie rolled his eyes.

"You know, we came Monday night, and he was cooking eggs and bacon—for dinner," Sam added with a chuckle. Charlie turned red.

"Actually, I was just thinking of the time… it's about time for dinner…"

"Let's give you a ride," Sam offered with a sarcastic eye roll.

"Hey, Sue's cooking is out of this world. What can I say."

We drove over to the Clearwater's. The drive was a little awkward, but hey, it's Charlie.

We dropped him off, and I took a deep breath. I didn't talk much, so I breathed only a few times. Then Sam called in the pack and we met at his house to talk about our Denali trip.

"What can you tell us about this coven?" Sam inquired.

"Not much," I replied. "They were only mentioned a few times. And my human memories are vague."

"I'm not so sure about this," Embry added. "What will they think of us?"

"They won't attack, Embry. So long as you're not aggressive," I told him.

"How do you know? You've never met them."

"Living on animal blood makes you more civilized. There should be no problem."

"Embry has a point," Sam cautioned. "We don't know. We smell pretty awful. And if one comes after us, they all will."

"Well then, how about I go alone, and explain the predicament? Then I will come get you when it's safe," I offered.

"She's gonna smell like us, though," Paul mentioned.

Sam shook his head. "Let's not worry about that. Bella is obviously a newborn vampire. They will understand and hopefully accept that much."

Jacob suddenly went into pack planning mode. "So we escort her there, make sure she's a good vegetarian-" he winked at me- "And she walks in and tells them she's some crazy controlled newborn. Do we stay? Do all of us need to go? Is there a point of us going?"

They all looked around at each other. Sam turned Alpha.

"There seems to be little threat, but if this does turn ugly, we want everyone."

"That, and we're curious!" Jared piped in.

"It's settled, then," Sam continued. "We should leave soon, any suggestions?"

"Tomorrow." I wanted to get this done.

"Any objections?"

There were headshakes of no all around the room. They all seemed exited to meet the new vampires.

"Great," Sam nodded. "Let's all meet here tomorrow."

Everyone got up and went different ways. Some to go home, some to dig through Emily's well-stocked kitchen. Jacob and I got up and walked to the car to go pick up Charlie.

There were several minutes of silence until Jacob spoke. "You said your human memories are fading… what do you mean by that?"

"They are all very fuzzy. Some are hard to recollect. I heard that over time, if I don't think about them, they will disappear."

His expression changed to sadness. "So will you forget everything we've done? The motorcycles, the Rabbit, the movies?"

"Yes, unless I start thinking about them a lot."

His face lit up. "So if we talked about them, you could remember them forever?"

"Yep."

He paused and thought for a minute. "You don't need to sleep anymore, right?"

"Umm, that was random, but no."

"But you need to pretend you're sleeping, for Charlie. Why don't you come over tonight and we'll have a memory-recovery meeting? We'll talk about EVERYTHING!"

I actually thought this would be nice. "Sure. I'll sneak out the window." The thought made me giggle.

We pulled up to the Clearwater's and saw Charlie waiting outside. He waved goodbye to Harry and hopped in.

Partway home I realized I needed to tell Charlie of my travel plans. "Um, dad?" He jumped, startled by my new voice. "Jake and I are going to take a trip up north for a little while, okay?"

"What for?" He paused. "Oh, wait… does it have to do with the whole wolf-mythical world thing?"

I looked at Jacob. "Um, yeah."

Charlie held up his hand. "I don't want to know."

"What?"

"Anything to do with that stuff, don't tell me, unless it's a need-to-know sort of thing."

I looked back at Jacob. This turned out better than I thought.

Jake dropped us off and we headed inside. I quickly graced up the stairs. The thought occurred to me that maybe I should try to be clumsy.

"Headed up early?" Charlie called after me.

"Yeah, um… we're going to get an early start tomorrow. Get a good night's sleep."

"Allright. See you later, Bells."

"Night."

I went into my room and closed the door. I packed a light duffle with some clothes and a few other miscellaneous human props for tomorrow. I dawdled about a little longer and then decided Jacob should have gotten home by now.

My window opened without a creak. Must still be in good shape from when it was used every night. I sighed.

The hop down was a little unnerving at first, with my last human feelings. But then I closed my eyes and jumped.

Before I knew it I felt my feet softly land on the ground. I looked around in case anyone saw me, and headed towards Jacob's place.

I thought about my new life as I ran. So many unexpected things have happened. And the irony. I am not a fragile little human anymore, but Victoria is dead, and to my knowledge there aren't any more mythical creatures out to get me. An upside was that I can't worry about simple trips and falls now. And who knows, with my luck there may be something else stalking me in the near future.

It took a very short time to get to Jacob's, and he was outside waiting for me.

"Having fun with the running?" He asked me.

"Yeah! So awesome."

"I told you. Glad you can feel it now, too."

We headed inside and plopped down next to each other on the bed in his shoebox room.

"So, where shall we start?"

"I don't know. I guess from the first time we saw each other, after I came to Forks."

"Well, I went with the gang down to the beach, and we met with a group of off-rez kids and decided to hang out. Sam introduced us all, and one of your gang introduced all of you. I heard your name, and instantly recognized it as the girl who got my truck." I grinned, and so did he.

As he spoke of that day, I began to remember things on my own. I recall him staring at me a number of times before we even spoke. But there was something more important with that day. I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"Then I came and sat with you, starting a little conversation. We talked about the truck, our dads, my sisters. And then Sam mentioned the Cullens don't come to the rez."

That sparked something. Yes, this was a very important day.

"You tried to get me to walk on the beach, and I easily agreed." He laughed. "And you tried to milk me for Quileute legends."

There was a click in my head. "Oh! I remember! I tried to flirt. I guess I succeeded. I knew there was something different about the Cullens, and Sam's remark really got me thinking you were the key to solving my mystery."

"And you were a very good flirt. I spilled all the beans."

"Yeah, you did."

"What was the next thing?" I asked him.

"Well, I'll always remember when I came to your prom."

"Oh! I remember that! You came to tell me I should stay away from Edward."

"Yeah, after my dad bribed me. I thought he was so stupid. I really felt bad, but you took it very lightly, so I thought I didn't offend. How little did I know, you were well aware."

We were silent for a moment. "You dad only wanted the best for me," I said softly. "He and Charlie are good friends. He cared for my well being, and Charlie's health."

After a minute or two, I can up with another. "Now, we've been doing crazy stuff with motorcycles…"

"Yeah! You came to me one day with two dysfunctional bikes. You knew I was into rebuilding stuff, like the Rabbit, and thought maybe I could help put those back into shape."

"Yep. That's exactly it."

"We spent _so_ much time looking for parts, but I found a lot of great stuff at the dump. I still feel a little bad for using your money, but it made you happy so I let you fund."

"Hey, you were supplying free labor. I felt like the bandit in that case."

He pondered for a second. "You never told me. Why were you so crazed about riding those things? You never came across to me as a biker/adventure girl."

"Well, um, it's a long story." Jacob didn't need to know I was a looney.

He noted my reluctance and went on. "I doubt you would wanna ride yours now."

"No, duh! Not with the speed of running. I'd feel like a snail on it."

"At least you can't break your head open anymore."

"Ha ha. Very funny."

We sat there in silence for another moment. "Here's another one," I offered. "What about the time we went to see that stupid horror movie?"

"Oh, with Newton!" A huge Jacob grin spread across his face. "Another unforgettable day. Kid just couldn't get the picture that he was uninvited."

"Yeah, and he nearly puked all over your just-finished Rabbit."

He looked thoughtful. "We had a pretty interesting conversation, when your wonderful admirer was in the bathroom."

I remembered.

"You rarely let me hold your hand, and pushed me away if I put my arm over your shoulders. But it didn't matter to me. That was when I told you, as long as you liked me better than that Matt or Mike or whatever, I would wait for you."

"And that is when you saw my scar for the first time. You didn't know what it was."

"Yeah, you've got a good hold on these memories."

"Uh-huh." I nodded my head.

"What else do you remember from that?"

I looked up at him. "That was the last time I spoke to you, for what seemed like a century."

He looked away from my eyes, ashamed. "It really was that hard for you?"

"Jake, you were my personal sun. My ray of sunshine in a dark world, so to speak. I had been spending so much time with you, I was addicted to the light like a little bug. When I couldn't talk to you or see you, I nearly went mad. And Billy wasn't much help, either."

"It really was bad." He looked back at me and I saw it hurt him, too.

We became silent again. He leaned back against the wall. Without thinking much, I leaned back too, and rested my head against his chest. I didn't _need_ to recline; it just felt like a natural thing to do.

So not bothered by my icy rock skin, he gently wrapped his arm around me. His skin was hot against mine, but it still didn't bother me much. We lay there, thinking.

It occurred to me that our relationship had changed. I felt like he was just a best friend to me again. There was no awkwardness. Could he have given up his love for me, now that we were on opposite ends of the species list? I couldn't imagine what else it could be. And perhaps I was wrong; he may just be suppressing his feelings. Not that he's ever done that before.

But the fact that here I am, a bloodsucker that he hates because of what it made him, wrapped inside his arms, made me awed with wonder. There's something special we never saw coming. Maybe fate gave him the attraction to me, so he would be there to save me from Victoria.

Jacob finally spoke again, breaking my internal conversation. "You know Bells, there's something I've been wanting to tell you. I think it may make you happy, but I still don't want to hurt your feelings."

I looked up at him, puzzled. "Go ahead, Jake."

"Since the first day I saw you, I've been head over heels. I'm sure that's obvious. I just couldn't stay away, it was like there was some invisible string attaching me to you.

"But now, ever since your transformation was complete, it's different. I still like being around you, but as a true best friend. Nothing more."

I just continued looking at his face. It was true, every word he said was sincere.

"Please tell me I didn't offend you," He begged.

"Oh, Jake, no! I'm… I guess I'm happy for you. It always hurt me, seeing you go though that. I knew I was such a bad person-"

"Aw, Bella, I never thought that-"

"But I just couldn't stay away from you either."

"That was very obvious, you know." He chuckled. "You were such a mess. Actually, I hate to admit it, but you still are."

"Oh?"

"Have you seen yourself? Yeah, you're a whole lot hotter that you were-" he stopped. "In a friendly, giving-your-friend-a-complement sort of way, you know…but anyways, even in that new face you can see an inner turmoil. I take it _those_ memories are still very, very strong."

I sighed and looked down. Yes, too vivid. Much more vivid than the rest.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."

"That's okay, Jacob. I know you're curious."

He pulled my chin up so we were face to face again. "But tell me… we're friends, still? Even though I stink worse than a skunk?"

"Ha! Worse than ten skunks and a dirty trash can… But yes. We are the best of friends."

"Good. Glad I can count on that."

We continued talking about old times until Jacob's eyes began to droop, and he eventually fell asleep. I decided to let the poor kid get some shut eye before we run again tomorrow.

I silently left the house and snuck back into my room. There was nothing to do, so I laid down on my bed. The action was pointless because it gave me no added comfort, but I guess old habits die hard. Plus it was a natural position for thinking.

I decided to think about the memories I did not and could not share with Jacob. Things about my childhood, growing up. And things about the Cullens, Edward especially. I couldn't talk about them with Jacob, one because they were too personal, and two because the edges of my hole burnt like the venom and I found myself gasping for air I didn't need anymore.

I thought about the first time I saw Edward in the cafeteria. I thought about the time he saved me from Tyler's van. I thought about Port Angeles, the men he saved me from, the intense talk we had on the way home, the talk where he admitted he was a vampire. I spent much time reviewing our trip to the meadow, seeing him glisten in the sunlight, sharing our thoughts and feelings for each other. And riding on his back; something that scared me to death then, but came so naturally now. And then what he gave me after our hike; our first kiss. So gentle, he didn't want to hurt me. It was so sweet, and my memory banks easily recalled this.

I thought about the day that James lured me to the dance studio. I thought about when I heard my angel's voice, calling me back. I thought about him, sitting by my hospital bed, never leaving my side, always holding my hand.

I thought about my 18th birthday, my nightmare of Gran, the silver paper, the disaster at my birthday party…

I thought about the next few days, with Edward so withdrawn and Alice gone.

I thought about the day he took me into the woods, telling me he didn't love me anymore.

I thought about the slight breeze, indicating he was gone.

The now heavy heaving of my chest confused me. This was sobbing? I suppose it must be. As rock hard as I was, it was like one gentle bump and I may fall to pieces.

But as painful as it was going over this, I knew forgetting each and every moment of that life with him would be even more painful.

So I continued my reverie late into the night and the rising sun.

* * *

**Awwww! **

**I hope you loved that chappy as much as I do :)**

**So yeah, I hate to be like one of those people who drive you crazy because they are constantly asking for reviews, but I have to mention, I'D SURE APRECIATE IT IF YOU DO! It's really not that hard to do. Really.**

**Thanks for reading! You know my schpeel: kind critique, ideas, complements, yadda yadda yadda**


	4. Anticipation

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight.**

**I have to say, THANK YOU for all the wonderful people who have favorited/alerted my story, and all of the wonderful people for reviewing and encouraging me! It really does help... now I now why writers always beg for reviews!**

**Sorry it took me a few days, but here's the next chapter. It's a bit short, but after this, Bella is going to go through a hue change of mind and decision... a new page in her life.**

* * *

I watched the dawn break in the sky; turning from a deep, dark blue, to purples, pinks, and then yellow daylight. There was still plenty of cloud cover though, so we would have no problems running again today.

We had been running for a day now. We were almost there, but Sam wanted the pack to stop and rest before we met the Denali coven. And I was hoping they would; they stayed in wolf form so we could run full speed, but when I saw them phase back to talk to me, I thought the purple bags under their eyes were becoming permanent.

Sam was the first to wake. They did not sleep in their wolf form, which surprised me. Perhaps they just wanted me to feel more comfortable. That didn't matter to me. I had spent so much time with the wolves in my human days, I was used to it.

After a little breakfast for the boys and a hunt for me (I didn't need to, it just made Sam more comfortable with me being a newborn and all), we were off again. It wouldn't take long to reach Denali, probably before noon.

We kept ourselves well hidden, but the sight of us must have been very strange. One pale, shimmering girl and five humongous, furry wolves, all running happily, laughing, playing, shoving around. We were all so comfortable with my change, it seemed like nothing had changed except the fact I could keep up with them, I could get knocked by them and not get hurt, and we smelled REALLY bad to each other.

About 11 o'clock we reached Denali. Now for the fun part- finding a scent. We decided to split up, one wolf in each direction, and I would go with Jacob. As soon as one smelt vampire we would go meet them.

As Jacob and I searched, I had time to dwell on what was about to happen. Would they like me? Will they take care of me as a newborn? Would I tell them who I am, who I was?

Who I used to be friends with?

Then it hit me. It was a very good point. I could tell them who I was and who I loved, but whether that help or hurt the situation, I did not know. Maybe, if they learned about my relationship with the Cullens, they would tell them I was a vampire. I couldn't tell them that. At least not yet. This was never supposed to happen after he left. I wonder, even when Edward left, if Alice still saw the same vision of me, hard and cold and beautiful.

The pain of thinking of them was too much. I grabbed my waist and crumpled down to the ground. Jacob saw this and let out a whine.

"I know Jake, I'm sorry… this is getting kind of hard."

He came up to me and gently nudged my back.

"It's okay. This used to happen all the time, right? Just give me a minute."

I didn't notice him again until he spoke.

"Are you sure you still want to do this?"

I turned around to look at him. He had phased back and came to wrap his arms around me, to comfort me. To hold me together.

"Yes, I'm sure," I finally answered. It was easier to talk with his tight squeeze. "I want to be kept in control as a newborn, of course. And I think it would be good to know some good vampires-just to keep my sanity."

We laughed at that last part.

"Please be nice to yourself," he told me. "I can't stand seeing you like this."

"I know, I know, I just started thinking about Tanya and their relationship with the Cullens…"

"Oh, yes, I know. I wonder what they'll think, when you tell them your relationship with _them_."

"Well…" I contemplated my plan. "I don't think I will. Not just yet. I don't want the Cullens to know what happened to me."

"Um, okay, but will they still be willing to help you?"

"I hope so."

We both looked down.

"One more thing," I added. "I don't think we'll want to call me Bella. I am positive they would recognize that name and question me."

"What is your name, then?"

I though about that. "Renee." That was easy.

"All right, then. Good day Renee, I best be getting back to the pack, in case they find something."

I turned around and within a minute he had phased. I turned back around to look at him, but he was alert, listening to the pack.

They had evidently found something because he gave me one pointed look and headed in the opposite direction we were going. I quickly followed and we shortly we came upon the rest of the pack. Sam had phased back to his human form to talk to me.

"Embry found a pretty strong trail… whoever these vampires are, they came around often. Can you smell it?"

I took a good whiff around me. I could smell the wolves, of course, but there was something else, unlike anything I remember smelling. The sweetness made me guess it was vampire.

"I think so."

"It heads up that way. If you think you can follow it, we'll wait here."

Jacob let out a pathetic whimper.

"What, Jake?" Sam asked, confused. "This is what we planned."

Jacob looked around the circle a bit, and then turned around into the forest.

"Ah, he's phasing." Sam shook his head. I wondered what his expression meant.

"She can't go that far alone," Jacob started as he came through the trees. "How about I go partway in human? I'll wait nearby, and when it's safe for us, I'll phase and tell you all."

"Jake…" Sam started to protest.

I interrupted him. "Sam, no, it's fine. _Someone_ is a little over-cautious, but there's no harm. Jake, let's go."

I turned around and made a mad dash after the scent. I was anxious to see them. Why? Why was I so keyed up? They were nothing to fear. Just anticipation, I guess. But it felt more like a premonition. But of what?

I looked up from my concentration to see that I had reached a house. Their house.

I could tell, because the layout was familiar to me. Tall, three stories, a masion. But most of all there were windows everywhere; all along the eastern side was like one sheet of glass, and on the other walls the windows were huge. Very open. The one place they don't have to hide.

The hole burned around the edges.

I turned around to look at Jacob. My expression clearly meant for him to stay put.

I hurried up to the front door. I was sure they could hear me now, but I still took a deep breath before giving a gentle knock on the door.

"Hullo... who could that possibly be?" I heard a male voice say. "Um, Tanya, could you get the door?"

* * *

**Oooh! Cliffy! As you can tell, I like cliff hangers. It's easier to stop that way!**

**I know! I know! It's really short... please don't hurt me! But now I can get to the part that this story is all about... and with the next chapter or two I'm going to make you all very, very happy ;)**

**Thanks for sticking around!**

**Yah, you know.. kind critiques/comments/complements apreciated!**

**P.S.! Please take a look at my poll. It's if this story should keep it's current name, "Rising Sun" (adapted from the last chapter, and it also matches the future outcome of the story) or if it should revert back to it's original name, "Always" (which is also very fitting, and will be said in the long run... guess by who! :O *gasp* ).**


	5. Lean On Me

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight :'(**

**THE BIG CHAPTER! This is a BIG one! Sorry it took so long. I had my computer in the shop for some maintenance and couldn't access it 'til now... but I think it's worth the wait. I'm going to make a lot of my wonderful readers happy. Now, READ!**

**_Lean On Me_**

**_Sometimes in our lives  
we all have pain  
we all have sorrow. _**

**_But if we are wise  
we know that there's  
always tomorrow. _**

**_Lean on me  
when you're not strong  
and I'll be your friend.  
I'll help you carry on  
for it won't be long  
'til I'm gonna need somebody  
to lean on.  
... _**

**_If there is a load  
you have to bear  
that you can't carry.  
I'm right up the road  
I'll share your load  
if you just call me.  
Call me ( if you need a friend)  
Call me _**

_I looked up from my concentration to see that I had reached a house. Their house._

_..._

_I hurried up to the front door. I was sure they could hear me now, but I still took a deep breath before giving a gentle knock on the door._

_"Hullo... who could that possibly be?" I heard a male voice say. "Um, Tanya, could you get the door?"_

* * *

"Um, okay," a female voice answered. But more than one was coming to the door; I heard the rest sneak in my direction.

The door timidly opened about two feet, and a girl with strawberry blonde hair peeked cautiously out at me. Several others were behind her; I heard a gasp.

"Ay bandito!" Another female voice said. I could not see where.

There was silence for a good minute, and then I spoke.

"Hello… Um, how do I explain this? I need some help."

They looked at one another before looking back at me.

"I… I'm… I'm a newborn, see. And… well, I don't have anyone to help me… get used to it?" The last sentence came out like a question. How _do_ I explain this?

As soon as I said newborn, they all took a small involuntary step back. One with blonde hair lifted her hand up in my direction, palm facing me, as if it was a weapon.

The male I heard earlier stepped through the little crowd. "I may be able to help you. Please, tell us… how old are you?"

"Two days." More nervous looks from the girls, but the male kept his focus.

"Pleasure to meet you. Um, what is your name?" He asked.

"B- Renee."

He didn't seem to notice my near slip. "Pleasure to meet you, Renee. I'm Eleazar. This is Tanya, Irina, Kate, and my mate Carmen."

I nodded and smiled at each one, finally putting names to faces. I remember hearing all their names before.

"Um, please, come in Renee." Eleazar gestured me inside, with glares from the rest of the coven.

He looked up. "Don't worry… She's something special. Like no newborn… she's well under control."

I looked up at him. How did he know this?

"Anything else?" Carmen asked him.

"I can't really tell- I'm being blocked. I think she's a shield."

They all looked at Eleazar, and then at me in awe.

I just looked around, confused. I didn't think I was like a shield. I wasn't some big piece of protective metal.

"Eleazar can tell what other's special abilities are," Tanya answered my stare. "He can't feel anything from you, so you must be a shield."

"Incredible," Eleazar whispered. He snapped out of it, and got back down to business. "But I suppose we have other things to talk about. There is much for you to tell us, Renee."

I nodded. He led me and the rest of his family to another part of the house, on the same floor. It was obviously a dining room, but used as a meeting room in a household like this.

Eleazar gestured me to take a seat at the head, and he sat down next to me. Carmen sat on the other side, but left an empty seat between us. Tanya and Kate sat on the other side of her, and Irina with Eleazar.

He gave me one good look. "Explain. Who created you?"

I bit my lip. I hoped nothing is going to slip. "A vampire named…" I'm sure Laurent told them about Victoria. They would recognize the name. "…Ruby."

"Where is she?" He asked.

"She is deceased."

He paused, confused. "How?"

This made me nervous. I wanted them to know me a little better before I told them about the wolves.

"There are many strange things about me that I will eventually tell you, but that is something I wish to tell you a little later."

Eleazar looked around the room, but Carmen's gentle smile indicated she believed there was nothing to fear about me.

"Okay. How did you know about us?"

Another hard one. "I smelled you." That was true, not really a lie.

"And so you followed us here?"

"The scent trail was pretty strong. I recognized it as vampire, though I had never smelled one before."

"Did you know this Ruby? Were you friends when you were in your human form?"

I laughed an uncomfortable little laugh. "No, just the opposite; she hated me bitterly. She wanted painful revenge. She thought biting me, then killing me was the best way."

"Why the grudge?"

I fought the urge to bite my lip again. "Um… my… friends killed her mate. He had threatened me."

"So you had other vampire friends?" Everyone's eyes went wide at the seemingly impossible idea. Not quite as impossible as they think.

"No, no-well- that's… something I'll get to later."

He paused, uncomfortable with my reluctance. "Okay. So you decided to come here, for help. Why?"

"Well, it's a long story that I will eventually tell you, but my friends knew that newborns were supposed to be fierce, uncontrollable. I didn't feel that way, and I was able to resist a pure human…"

Carmen gasped and looked at Eleazar. Maybe I _was_ an unusual newborn.

"What?"

"You're… something special, Renee," Eleazar answered me. "How old were you when you resisted?"

"About three minutes old, but she was in the room the whole time. From the second I woke up."

They all looked at each other in wonder.

"Incredible." Was all they could say.

For several minutes we sat in silence. It was uncomfortable, but I felt they knew me enough to tell them my furry secret.

"So- I guess I can tell you about my friends."

They all turned back to look at me, very attentive.

"Please don't freak out. This is going to be very strange to you. Maybe you have heard of them, maybe not," though I knew they must have from the Cullens, decades ago. "My friends aren't vampire, but they're not entirely human."

I paused, let that soak in.

"Please promise to hear me out, and not hurt anyone." They cautiously looked at one another and nodded. "My friends… turn into werewolves."

I was looking down as I said this. There was silence, and I peeked out from under my eyelashes to see their reactions. They were taking this well, silent for me to go on.

"They killed Ruby, shortly after she bit me. I was alone, but they were nearby. They exist only because vampires exist- as soon as there are some in the area, people of the tribe burst into wolves. Their only job is to protect people from being killed by vampires."

Now they all looked around, nervously.

"No, no! Hear me out. But you're different! You don't hurt people. You drink animal blood. You're safe from them, they don't wish to hurt you!"

If it were possible, Eleazar appeared to become more pale. "How… how did you know that?" he whispered.

"Know wh-" I started to say. And then I realized what slipped. "Oh."

Shoot. I slipped. Shoot, shoot, shoot. That was bad. I need something. Fast.

"Ha, oh! You're eyes! Yes, see, my wolves um… have legends about vampires like yourself. The ones who resist humans have golden eyes, like yourself."

This worked. They immediately relaxed back into their seats. Of course they knew where and exactly who these legends come from.

"Yes, there are others like ourselves. And I believe I have heard about your wolves before. Descendants from a long time ago. They are from La Push, no?"

I gasped. He did know. "Yes… yes they are." I laughed. "Well, small world we live in!"

"Indeed."

I smiled. "Well, would you be willing to meet one or two of them yourself? One is very good friends with me, so of course he wouldn't let me come alone."

There atmosphere tensed a little, but Eleazar kept a straight face. "Sure. This should be interesting."

I called out to the general direction of where I left Jacob. "Jake? Can you hear me? Bring Sam. Someone would like to meet you two."

They looked at me like I was crazy, but thirty seconds later there were two people at the door knocking.

"You can kick them out later if you want," I added teasingly. "The smell is pretty bad."

This put the whole coven in a laughing mood as I opened the door.

Both were a little tense, but seeing my gentle smile and the ease behind me, they loosened up too.

"This is Sam, and Jacob. Boys, this is Eleazar, Carmen, Kate, Irina, and Tanya."

"Pleasure," Sam answered.

"You, too," Carmen added sweetly.

"Come in boys. You have brought me much to learn about."

Tanya laughed. "You're right, they do smell! How awful!" She added teasingly.

Sam looked down at me with mock graveness. "Not nice, Bella."

I froze.

I miserably looked at Jacob. We forgot to tell Sam.

"What did he just call you?" Carmen whispered, shocked. Of course everyone here knew that name.

Everyone turned and stared at me. I looked down at my feet, waiting for the huge blush that would never come.

"Oh my gosh… Carmen, this is Bella," I heard Eleazar whisper back. Of course he put together the pieces. It all made sense.

I looked up at Sam, and he looked shocked and guilty. It's not his fault. I was careless.

Eleazar carefully took my chin and turned my face towards him to look at me.

"I guess that would make sense of the shield," he said. "Well, this changes things."

"Why don't you come sit down, Sam, Jacob," Irina offered.

Now that the cat was out of the bag, I told them everything. I told them the full story of James, though they already knew a little bit. I told them about _Victoria's_, not Ruby's, grudge. I told them about Laurent, and the wolves apologized to Irina, explaining how they didn't know and he was about to kill me. She was pretty ticked. She nearly leapt across the table to Sam's throat, but her sisters kept her down until she found reason again. We spent a very long time at that table, sharing what was needed.

Evening was drawing near when we finally told the last of our stories. I was hurting, because the Cullens were mentioned several times. It was inevitable; we were both very close to the family. I felt a slightly jealous vibe coming from Tanya. I knew it was because of the relationship I had with Edward. He told me once that she had a fancy for him. I guess she could have him now, since he wouldn't have me.

"This has been very interesting, Bella," Eleazar announced as he got up from his chair. "I suppose we should keep you around, keep an eye on you for a bit. But I think between your crazy self control and the wolves, the Volturi should not bother you."

The Volturi. The name was somewhat familiar. Edward had told me- shortly before he left- "Oh, they're like the royal vampire family, right?" Yeah, it was something like that.

"Sure, something like that. They keep us in line. Make sure we don't break the rule."

"Rules? There are rules?"

"Just one. I'm sure you can guess."

"I have no idea."

He laughed. "Keep the secret, of course."

"Oh." Yeah, that was pretty obvious. "And if you don't?"

"They will find you and kill you." He said this more gentle than I would have thought necessary. He was looking at the three sisters, and their faces were somber. I tried to figure out how this made them sad.

"Oh" was my best answer. I guess it makes sense of the feeling I had, when the wolves asked me to tell Charlie exactly what I was.

"They don't want humans to know vampires exist. It lets us walk about unnoticed."

"No offence, but you never really blend in."

He laughed, lightening the mood again. "I suppose so."

"It was that way with the Cullens. I knew they were something special."

"They were putting you in many dangers by having you, weren't they?"

I lowered my eyes. I really didn't care.

Carmen changed the subject. "Niñas, if Bella is going to stay, I think we should find her proper accommodations. There are many rooms in this house that you can have peace for yourself. Are the wolves staying, too? We have a few beds, for the charade."

I looked at Sam. This was his choice.

"I have three others waiting outside, but they certainly don't need to stay. And I think Bella is fine here alone, without Jacob and I."

Jacob gave Sam an unhappy look, but he knew Sam was right. They should be in La Push- I was plenty safe here.

Arrangements were made and I said goodbye to the wolves as they ran off, already phased. Eleazar was entirely intrigued by them, something I had not expected.

"Pretty interesting friends you keep, Bella. Can't seem to stay away from myth."

I looked at him with a pained expression, knowing that was too true.

"Come, I'll show your room," Irina begged.

"Yes! It's upstairs, right next to mine," Tanya bounced.

"Maybe we can work on your shield tonight! I'm so intrigued by your new found ability…" Kate looked off into space. "Can she expand it?"

All three of them were bouncing and laughing, it felt like we were a bunch of girls getting together for an all-night sleepover party. I guess it was, without the sleeping.

"How will we test my shield?" I asked. So far I didn't know any of _their _talents.

"Oh, I know," Kate said with a sly smile. She reached her hand out to touch my shoulder, and right as it touched, Tanya turned and scowled at her.

"Kate…" she groaned.

I looked at her hand, waiting for something to happen. Her expression hardened, like she was working on a very difficult math problem. I waited for something painful.

Nothing.

Now, instead of worried looks, Tanya and Irina were giggling. Snickering, even. Kate finally gave up and looked at Tanya.

"And _you'll_ be the one she'll try to shield," she said acidly.

We all burst into laughter while Tanya looked down, embarrassed and a little frightened.

I was lead into a very neat and contemporary room. It had a small couch pushed up against one side, and on the other wall was a huge collection of books, CD's and DVD's. Above the shelves were two speakers, the stereo system in the middle lower down.

"This is sort of our media room and library," Kate told me. "Help yourself to the books, music, whatever. If you push that button there on the wall, the flatscreen will come out there." She pointed to the wall by the door, then to some wood paneling in front of the couch. I nodded.

"Aw, don't let her think she can come sit her alone!" Irina bounced. "We need to have a girls night. A new guest! You like parties, don't you, Bella?"

I nearly told her they were the worst thing I could have experienced, but that would have put a real damper on her happiness. I could stand a few girls, just us. "Oh, sure."

"Yay!" She clapped her hands together.

They led me out and showed me their rooms, then gave me a full tour of the house. It was so lovely; it was dark outside now, which threw away some of the effect, but I was sure it would look even better in the light tomorrow.

The sisters were so siked to start on my shield experiment. It really surprised me how fast they took to me. I suppose, now that they know who I really am, they feel like they sort of knew me before.

All night we played around with my shield. Tanya and Irina took turns being shocked by Kate, who claimed she was using nothing but the "lowest setting." I highly doubted that.

I could feel the elasticity of my shield; I managed to save Irina one time from a shock. I was so pleased with myself, but as soon as I broke that concentration, the shield snapped back and never came back out far enough to do any good.

My life fell into such a fashion. They all had different duties, whether it be running out to get prop groceries, or going to work; I was allowed to come with, or stay at the house. I typically stayed there, listening to music or reading one of the many, many books. Then, at night, we would head up to Tanya's room and test my abilities. Every night, I got a little bit stronger. I was able to save the girls from almost every shock, to their huge relief.

"Kate?" I asked one night. "What is the shock like? Is it like when you rub your socks on the carpet and get a small electric shock?"

"I suppose," she answered. "I wish you could feel it. It's a very interesting experience."

We all laughed, but Kate suddenly stopped. You could see the light bulb turn on above her head.

"What? What is it?" I asked, curious.

"I think I want you to try something new, Bella. Perhaps you can find a way to feel me."

"You mean, take my shield off?"

"Yep."

My eyes became filled with excitement. She stepped towards me and placed her hand on my shoulder.

I tried to picture the shield over my head. I felt it bubble out from me out of habit, but that wasn't exactly what I was going for. I imagined a tight ball cap as my shield.

Minutes passed, and right before I gave up, I let out a sigh, and gasped.

"Ow! Kate, that was _high!_"

She looked at me with wide eyes. "You did it! Your first try!"

All three of them were still laughing at my little outburst- it really did hurt- and tackled me in a bear hug.

"Hmm…" I sighed.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. But I feel- tired?"

"Oh, that happens to me when I work, too. Kind of a mental exhaustion."

"Mmm hmm. That's what it feels like."

She smiled. "How about you go back and rest in your room for a bit? Listen to some music, watch a movie."

"I'll work on that picture I'm painting," Irina decided.

"Ooh, maybe I'll finish designing Kate's new room," Tanya announced.

"See you in a bit," I waved on my way out.

They immediately started on their projects as I walked to the media room.

I started playing same Debussy CD I've been listening to the past week. It reminded me of being home in Phoenix. The memory of it was strained, blurry, so I tried to think about Phoenix every day.

Remembering was what I did in most of my free time. I was able to multitask with all this extra space in my head, so technically I could always be remembering. But I liked it best when all of my concentration could be on the faces and places of my past.

Claire de Lune softly lulled as I looked out the window at the stars.

As dawn approached, I looked out the window to see another visitor—snow. It fell in the daintiest little flakes, lightly sticking to the trees and the grass. I could see their crystalline shapes perfectly with my new eyes, as they danced to and fro in the air.

I set down my latest picked novel and decided on a movie or two. There were several classics I could watch over and over again, and some new ones that were interesting.

As my first selection ended and I was picking out the next, I heard the sisters move towards the front door, followed by Carmen and Eleazar.

There had been a slight tap at the door, and I crept out of my room and halfway down the stairs so I could see the front door.

"Ooh! Look! More visitors!" Tanya giggled. She certainly liked company.

"Um, Tanya, I'm not sure about th-" Eleazar tried to say, and stopped.

I gasped as a familiar voice greeted him.

"Eleazar! So nice to see you! I'm sorry I didn't give much of a warning. I didn't know we were coming here myself."

Carlisle stepped in, and turned around to give a pointed look at a little someone coming in behind him.

But she wasn't the first to enter. First Esme, with her dear, heart shaped face of a caring mother. Next was Rosalie, who still took my breath away in her flawless beauty. Right after followed Emmett… Emmett! Had he gotten even bigger? Jasper was next, cool and calm as ever… but he had a slightly confused look, and he searched the room as he entered. It dawned on me that he was looking for the person with the crazy, fraying-to-pieces nerves.

It was then I realized I was holding my breath. There was someone who could walk in that door, right this second, and shatter me to pieces. Just seeing him. He may not know I was here, but it would hurt me too much.

And then walked in the pixie herself.

She was on a mission, too focused to say much of a hello to anyone. Her nose was in the air, sniffing. She kept shutting her eyes and blanking for a second, then opening and searching again.

Her eyes finally trailed up the staircase and saw me, frozen, staring down at her. I had no idea what my expression was, the emotions were all tangled up in a huge knot.

She gasped.

"I was right," she breathed.

The entire room was still. I don't know how much time passed until I caved.

"Alice," I mouthed.

I ran down the staircase at full tilt, only to reach her in one sixty-fourth of a second. My arms were around her, tight as a vise. Her arms wound around me, too.

"Alice, Alice, Alice," was all I could repeat over and over. She was here. I couldn't comprehend it.

I looked up from her shoulder where I realized I was sobbing, and saw the rest of her family staring in shock. They must not have known anything about my transformation.

I didn't give myself time to think of why that was off, or why there were only six Cullens here. My mind was a mess. I reached out to them, to embrace all of them.

"Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rose, Jasper…" I continued to reach out, and they came to surround me in a giant hug.

"Look, everyone! It's Bella!" Emmett's booming voice announced.

My dry sobs rose, and Alice pet my hair to comfort me. "Bella, Bella, shh, it's alright. We're here. Shh."

I looked up at each one of their faces; nothing had changed, and they shouldn't have. But even though I immediately knew each one, the faces were new. My new eyes saw features and lines and shapes that I never could see before. I memorized the new faces.

"How about you come sit down now," Eleazar offered, uncomfortable. He had not anticipated there would be an emotional reunion today. As he did so, I felt a familiar relaxing feeling spread through my body. I missed Jasper's talent.

"Bella, come," Carlisle urged.

I grabbed Alice by the wrist so she would not disappear, but she kept her arms around me as I led her… to the living room. Less formal than the dining room table.

We all sat down at a place on one of the couches, though of course none of us really need to. I guess some habits never die.

Alice plopped right down next to me and I leaned into her, holding tight to my searing hole.

"Well, I guess you can kind of see why I dragged you all here," Alice began after a long silence. "I thought I was losing control of my visions. I swear I wasn't watching you, Bella. He made me promise. But I had a bad feeling… that I should check in on you. I tried to brush it off, but it was all too easy to take a peek. But when I did, I found nothing. Absolutely _nothing_. I was afraid you were dead, but I kept watching you. Occasionally I caught glimpses of what I thought was you, present time, but I was certainly confused at the change in color." She pulled my chin up to get a better look at me. "I must say, though, you are immensely beautiful."

I buried my face into her, and she continued. "But you disappeared again for such a long time. I got headaches from waiting. Finally I got a vision, and you were here." She gestured towards the house, the family. "I couldn't believe it could be true, but I wasn't going to take my chances. And here you are." She swept the hair out of my face. "And I am insanely curious at to why."

My eyes widened a touch. I didn't think I was in any state to talk right now.

"Not all of the vampires left Forks," Eleazar began for me. I must find a wonderful way to repay him for this kindness. "You are familiar with a vampire named Victoria?"

Every one of my old family tensed up and looked back at me.

"I suppose she wouldn't have survived Laurent if it wasn't for the wolves," He added.

"Wolves?" Alice cocked her head, confused.

"You mean, the Quileute wolves," Carlisle pondered. "Am I right?"

I nodded my head.

"Wow, I didn't know if they were coming back," he mused. "Alice and Jasper were not with us at the time, but they know the stories."

Eleazar continued. "Laurent found her alone in a meadow-" Alice looked down at me with scolding eyes, knowing exactly _which_ meadow, "-and nearly made her his meal, except the wolves came and saved her. She was not so fortunate with the next trip to that meadow, however. It was Victoria's turn to find her, and decided the most painful way to punish Bella for James was to be bitten, changed thoroughly, then killed."

Alice gave me a gentle squeeze. "But these wolves found her after she was bitten."

"Yes. They took care of Victoria quickly, but could do nothing to help Bella. The transformation finished, and they came up here for newborn advice."

"The wolves came too?"

"Yes, I got to meet them—very interesting creatures they are."

"How long ago was this?" Carlisle asked.

"She's been with us for a week now, and she was three days old when she came to us."

Once again, all eyes on me, and shocked again.

"But- she's so controlled."

"We noticed that the day she came. I was afraid for my household, but she didn't show the least bit of hostility. She told us she resisted a pure human when she was only two or three minutes old." Everyone gave me another wide-eyed stare. I thought they were going to fall out of their sockets. "And when we finally learned who she _really_ was, after hiding her true name for a bit, well… we knew you would want us to take care of her."

"Thank you," Esme said with sincerity. "You really are special, Bella. It's no wonder…" She paused, not wanting to finish the sentence for some reason.

"I can't believe we're here together Bella," Alice sighed. "I have missed you so much."

"Me, too," Emmett grinned.

"We all did," Rosalie said. I was shocked, but smiled.

"Too bad we're not all here…" Alice trailed off.

No. Not too bad. "No Alice. I… I… couldn't… take…that."

She was stunned. "Oh. Why? Have you moved on?"

"No. I just… don't want him to feel… guilty. I mean, look at me. He might feel kinda bad if he knew."

"_Kinda_ bad…" Alice murmured to herself. "Bella, it's true. You look a wreck. More than skin deep. You hurt very, very deep."

I closed my eyes, silently acknowledging that.

"I'm so sorry," dear Esme crooned.

Alice gave me another gentle squeeze and rocked me back and forth.

"Don't be," I told her. "It's not your fault a little human like myself can become uninteresting."

I felt Alice shake her head. "You really did believe that?"

I craned my neck to shoot her my confused look. She saw that I did believe that horrid truth and sighed.

"What are we going to do with you."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What are you saying, Alice? You speak as if that is not true."

"Because it's not."

"But it is."

"No, it's not. That pighead who happens to be my brother thought _you_ were better off without _him_. He loved you too much, Bella. You've seen he's prone to overreaction. Do you know where he is right now?" I shook my head. "He's a pitiful lump somewhere, probably hiding in some deserted attic, wallowing. There's no point in talking to him, if we manage to contact him; his sentences are short, one or two syllabled, and usually don't make sense or help you much. Jasper can't stand being near him, so he doesn't visit at all. I've tried to drag him to his senses, but he just can't function anymore."

I just stared in disbelief.

"It's really true, Bella. Don't look at me like that, because every single word is true and you know it."

This was too much. I was too close to having hope, believing. It couldn't be true. I never deserved him. He wouldn't want to take me back. This hurt way too much to think about it.

But I am different now. I am fast, hard, cold, strong. Maybe we could be… friends. If that meant I could be near him a lot, I would easily take it up. I would be willing to do or give anything to see his face just one more time.

It was then it clicked. That feeling I've been battling with since I awoke from transformation.

There _was_ something good that could come out of my change.

I _was_ fast and strong. I could keep up with him. He would never hear me coming, with my shield. I could track him across the globe, following. I could see him again, even though he would have no interest. I could go see him. The obvious reality slammed my in the face.

"Gah!" I gasped aloud. This notion was so strong in my head. "Alice… Alice, where is he. Tell me now. I am going to find him."

* * *

**LOL I love cliffys ;)**

**Yay! (almost) all the Cullens are back together with Bella! *sigh* I really missed Alice. Alice, Alice, Alice. At least I get to see her ever day (Yes Pixiee, I'm talking about you. Cup dance. lol insider!)**

**I tried breaking this chapter in two, drag it out a little, since it's so long. But I just couldn't. It belonged all together.**

**Thanks for reading this far. I really, really apreciate it.**

**As always........... augghhh, you know the drill! TRANSLATION: Review your heart out! Jasper's hair commands you! (lol another insider)**


	6. Hole

**DISCLAIMER: If**** I ACTUALLY owned Twilight, do you think I would be posting this on fanfiction? I don't think so.**

**Hy guys... so yeah last weekend I decided to post weekly, over the weekend (Friday, Saturday, Or Sunday), but that didn't work out this weekend did it? Well, I had this bit written, I was just hoping to have more.... unfortunately I have NO time whatsoever, but by next weekend I should have a longer chapter. (And no I didn't get a spring break to work on it)**

**But in the meantime, I have a little treat for you....hope it makes up for the short short chapter :) Ooooh, whats the treat I wonder?**

**Enjoy!**

**_[ "Gah!" I gasped aloud. This notion was so strong in my head. "Alice… Alice, where is he. Tell me now. I am going to find him." ]_  
**

* * *

They were all staring at me from my outburst, and Jasper looked at me, confused by my sudden and drastic change of mood.

"Well, that's not something we can really tell you," Esme said, a sad look on her face.

"Why not?" I snapped.

"He never makes any decisions that I can see," Alice explained. "He hardly knows where he is himself."

"Last we knew he was in Mexico; Alice saw him glancing at a 'Welcome to Mexico City' sign," Esme added.

"When was this?" I asked.

"Alice saw it about a week ago. Chances are he's still there. He doesn't move much, just hides somewhere until someone notices him."

What was _that_ supposed to mean?

"How come he's so miserable like this? What happened?"

Alice laughed a short, non-humorous burst. "Jeez, Bella, He misses you."

That just didn't sound right. "Like my smell? I would think that would be the last thing he would miss- it was so painful for him. I don't understand."

She rolled her eyes. "Please listen to me, Bella. He loves you. He has always loved you. And, believe it or not, will never stop loving you. Leaving you was physically painful, don't you understand? He can't stand it."

"You mean, the guilt of leaving me?"

"Augh!" Alice threw up her hands. "You don't get it! How could you possibly have fallen for that blasphemy?"

"You are really confusing me." I was, unfortunately, beginning to hope again, and knew I must douse it. Playing dumb helped, I think.

Alice glared at me for a long second. "Well, I guess you will see for yourself when you find him."

At that I had nothing to say. Why _was_ I going to go look for him? This was so silly! But my hole ached more and more as I thought about finding him; the scary thing was that it ached in a healing way. I realized I must go in order to fix it; seeing him would be the perfect salve to dull the edges, soften the burning. Just the sight of his face should heal me enough to get by without him…

.

.

_**EPOV**_

_Edward_

_._

I hardly heard the clamor of noise on the busy street below me. I ignored the Spanish garble, not even bothering to hear what they were thinking. It was all meaningless and petty; I cared little about their daily dramas. I cared little about anything, actually. Every part of my mind was still in a dull, rainy town named after silverware.

The fat rats scurried about me, and the spiders created intricate and elaborate masterpieces. With these eyes I should be studying them with great interest, but there was no interest for me. I just wanted to stay in my little hole, doing what I can to keep my silent heart from falling apart.

This was a good idea, I said to myself, for the twentieth time this hour. And it was. I would _gladly_ sit here doing nothing so long as I knew my Bella could live a long, happy life as a human.

Well, maybe not gladly.

Yes, gladly. That is what I wanted for her. I had no business ruining her life with my world. She was too good to be pulled into a world of monsters.

Shouldn't such a deed feel rewarding? That was _exactly_ what I needed to do, I reminded myself. But shouldn't I feel even slightly good about it? I guess no good deed goes unpunished.

Tick, tick, tick went a clock downstairs. Of course, I had to pick a place that is not modernized enough for a digital clock!

With each tick I heard a name. _Bella, Bella, Bella_, tick, tick, tick, _Bella, Bella, Bella._ Thank the high heavens I didn't have a heartbeat, or that would be pulsing her name, too.

Dammit, how am I supposed to stand this! I pinched the bridge of my nose to calm my temper, which seems to have gone out of control with my constant foul mood. Maybe I could just go check on her. See that she is alright…

No.

She is perfectly safe now. I am not there to run her number up. There are no more monsters in Forks. But what if she has moved? I better go see if…

No. No, No, No, No.

I closed my eyes to see her smiling face. She seemed cheery at the prospect of my return. This could not be true, but it was so wonderful to think that.

I sighed a deep breath, and unconsciously whispered her name.

* * *

**AAAAAAW! Hope you enjoyed that:) I liked getting in Edward's head. Very nice in there. And I just HAD to write something of his, cuz frankly I MISSED him so bad! I'm sure you did too. Bella hasn't had crazy hallucinations and I REALLY missed him!**

**I suppose this didn't further the plot, but oh well....**

**Hey, could you check out my poll and vote? Its about if this story should keep its current name, or if it should be changed back to it's original name Always. "Rising Sun" was said by Bella, but "Always" will be said by someone else in a future chapter... still waiting for your guess by who! It's pretty obvious in my opinion;)**

**ALSO! Ima gonna start something new. I've seen a few people offer a "sneak peek" of the next chapter to reviewers, and I love getting the sneak peek... So I'm gonna do it too! Sounds like fun:)**

**You know da drill! Thanx!**


	7. Search

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters... obviously.**

**Hey peeps, I made good of my promise didn't I? I know its late, but it's still Sunday:D.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I hope you enjoyed the sneak peeks!**

**EXCITING NEWS! The Pixiee finally discovered my secret... this story. lol! I added all of those inside jokes in the event she found this, and sure enough! You still didn't tell me how though, girl.... Now we just need vrg101 to find it!**

**ANYWHO, this is a sort-of filler, nothing incredibly earthshattering. Yet. **

**Although there is another POV... I had so much fun getting into Edward's head with the last chapter, on a whim I explored others. Below is the result. I wasn't sure if I would put it in, since it's real short, but I put it in the sneak previews and everyone was so supportive and liked it, so I just had to toss it in:)**

**ENJOY!**

**Wherever You Will Go**

.

****

_So lately, been wondering  
Who will be there to take my place  
When I'm gone you'll need love to light the shadows on your face  
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all  
Then between the sand and stone could you make it on your own._

__

If I could, then I would  
I'd go wherever you will go  
Way up high or down low, I'd go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out  
A way to make it back someday  
To watch you, to guide you, through the darkest of your days  
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all  
Well then I hope there's someone out there  
who can bring me back to you

If I could, then I would  
I'd go wherever you will go  
Way up high or down low, I'd go wherever you will go

Run away with my heart  
Run away with my hope  
Run away with my love

I know now, just quite how  
My life and love might still go on  
In your heart, in your mind I'll stay with you for all of time

If I could, then I would  
I'd go wherever you will go  
Way up high or down low, I'd go wherever you will go

_If I could turn back time  
I'd go wherever you will go  
If I could make you mine  
I'd go wherever you will go  
I'd go wherever you will go_

* * *

_Alice_

"Alice? Come help me real quick," Bella called.

"Coming!" I shouted unnecessarily. I was there in a flash.

Just walking in the room caused a drastic change in her expression. Every time she saw one of us, her eyes lit up and looked like they had a little life in them. Even Rosalie. Just hearing one of us changed her mood, according to Jasper. He was shocked by the terribly painful mood she was constantly in. I knew he wanted to come with me on our journey, but I also knew it would be too much pain for him, too. He was considering going hunting until she left.

"_I'm sorry, Jasper. I'm sorry you have to put up with that."_ I told him the previous day.

"_It's not your fault, baby girl. It's just so unbelievable, the pain she's been put under. I'm amazed she can stand up straight."_

"_Carmen told me she will sometimes cripple over, clutching her stomach. She'll be gasping for air, even though she doesn't need it. I don't know why we let this happen to Bella." _I sighed.

"_It's not your fault. We weren't the ones who made the decision. We had no choice."_

"_I still wish there was something I could do."_

"_You can. Go with her. Help her find what she so desperately needs."_

I still had a hard time believing Bella was right here, in this house, with our family- most of it anyways. I missed her so much! We all did. I told him it was a bad idea to leave her, but noooooo, we just HAD to give her a NORMAL human life. Too bad I couldn't see her future to prove him wrong. I started searching the minute he made up his mind, but he lashed out. I've never seen him so vicious! He made me promise never to look at her future again. As if we never existed. Yeah right. I know her enough to know that was never going to fly. Didn't he know that, too?

* * *

_BPOV_

I was in my room, gathering a few things for my trip. I had a small wardrobe that I had acquired from shopping trips with Kate, Tanya, and Irina. They loved to shop almost as much as Alice. Speaking of…

"Alice, come help me real quick."

"Coming!" She called. In a flash she was standing next to me. I smiled.

I wanted to bring up a subject I had already touched on earlier. I asked Alice… no, told her that she needed to come with me on my trip to Mexico, but she refused. What was I going to do without her? Her visions were a big help. She would easily be able to tell me when we go in the wrong direction or the right one. Why was she being such a pest?

"Hey, what are you doing?" She interrupted my thoughts, staring at my little sofa.

I looked at the small duffle and short stack of clothes I put there. It seemed pretty obvious. "Um… packing?"

She looked at me dubiously. "That won't be necessary, you know."

"Oh."

I remembered how none of the Cullens seemed to pack a suitcase, unless it was a necessary prop.

"Force of habit," I continued.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a minute until I brought up what was burning my mind.

"You know, I don't think I should do this alone…" I hinted.

"Sure you can. You're a vampire now, not so breakable… and as far as I see there aren't any more sadistic vampires bent on revenge." She gave me a too-innocent look, like she missed my hinting. Sure.

"But I'm new to this still. Someone has to tell me…"

"Newbie, shnewbie. Please. You're a natural." She grinned.

Fine. I guess I'll have to be blunt, then. I waited another minute to ensure my courage- I wasn't backing down now. I was putting _all_ my effort into this one, and may not play nice if it comes down to it.

"Alice, come with me," I objected.

"No, no. He'll hear me coming, and there will be hell to pay for me." She argued.

"Please?"

"Nope."

"Please, please, please?" I gave her the most pathetic puppy dog look I could manage. "Just part way, at least. I'll be back faster if you come help."

Either the idea of having her family together faster, or my pathetic begging started to weaken her. Plus she hates my nagging. "Well…"

I batted my eyelashes and stuck out my lip a little more. "Pretty please. I don't think I could be alone for so long." Totally playing unfair now, though some of that was the truth.

Something on my face-or something I said- caused a brief moment of what looked like panic to flash across her face. She quickly composed her expression though, and then caved. "Okay! Okay. Fine. I'll go."

"Yay, Alice! You're the best sister ever."

I heard a playful grunt downstairs from Rosalie.

"Love you too, Rose," I called in the general direction of the stairs. She laughed.

"How long do you suppose it will take us to get down there?" I asked.

"Well, I don't want to run the whole way. First we'll fly from here to Washington... Oh, I guess I'll have to get another ticket now. From there we'll take Carlisle's car- so that's a day of flying, two days to get to the border, and then we'll park the car. The rest we will do on foot, to make sure we cover everywhere."

"Will it really be that difficult?" She knew I meant the locating, not the travel.

"Honestly, I have no idea." She shrugged, frustrated.

I looked at her dumbfounded. Since when is Alice so unsure?

I considered then what she said. In as little as three days, I could see my Greek god, not through my pained memories but in real, full-glory person. A slight, irrational smile lit up my face. Alice took no notice.

"Since we'll be passing through Forks, would you like to stop by and see Charlie?" She asked.

This snapped me out of my serene little vision. "Yes- yes, actually, that would be very very nice." I had told Charlie I would be staying in Alaska for a good period of time. He, of course, was not thrilled about the separation. At least he didn't ask for details… I said it was related to the werewolf stuff, and he stopped me right there.

School was an interesting issue that I was still working out. I had two weeks of spring break, and the first was already used up… Plus I could never go back to Forks High. Even Charlie knew that much. That's why I told him I would be going to school here in Alaska, to which he grudgingly agreed. But would I be back in time when it starts? Charlie wouldn't be happy if he heard I wasn't, but I didn't see much else of a choice. I was going to fulfill my mission.

Another idea occurred to me. Charlie wasn't the only one I could still see in Forks. "Alice… do you mind if I go to La Push, too? I want to see Jake."

Carlisle called up from downstairs. "Bella, I thought you knew… we can't go to La Push."

"_You _may not be allowed to go to La Push, but I know I am. I actually sort of broke the treaty on my first day…" I laughed, remembering the day I woke up, and Jacob told me I would have to stay in La Push forever. By leaving I would "cross the line."

"I don't want you to, Bella." Alice looked at me, eyes full of concern.

I scowled. "Alice, I'm not some fragile little human anymore. If, for some strange reason, Jacob loses control for a fraction of a second near me, he couldn't do any damage. I could be a mile away."

She just glared at me.

"Alice, I'm going."

Another minute of our stare off passed before anyone spoke.

"Fine," she grunted. "I just hate not seeing you."

The idea still sparked the curiosity of all of us. "You still think it was the wolves?"

"Your future thirty hours from now just blanked out. I think they are the reason. Well, one way to find out."

The vision problem bothered her, but I was glad to see the Jacob argument was over. That doesn't mean she won't revisit it later on, but not today at least.

I tossed my clothes back in a drawer and headed downstairs. Alice filled my in and just now mentioned we were leaving the house at 10:00… it was now 9:55.

Everyone was there to greet us and send us on our way. I thanked the Denali Coven with great sincerity for their hospitality, and gave each sister a huge hug. The Cullens I went up to one by one, looked them in the eye with a meaningful expression, followed by a huge hug. Each of them meant so much to me. Final partings were said and Alice dragged me out the door.

.

.

The flight was uneventful. It was my first time doing all of this as a vampire, and my first time with so many humans. The scent was overwhelming! Alice kept a firm hand around my wrist, but continually reassured me that I wouldn't hurt anyone. Even if she didn't have her magnificent psychic abilities, I would know that statement was true. As powerful as the scent was, I felt total control.

We decided, instead of calling a cab to bring us to the Cullen house, we would just run. It wouldn't take long. Plus, Alice wanted to show me a side of Forks I was unable to see before, hindered by my weak human capabilities.

We casually walked off until we were out of sight, and ran. Soon Alice was pointing out things, magnificent rock piles, waterfalls, and Cullen landmarks.

I was so absorbed in the new beauty of it all that I didn't notice where we were until the huge white house was 100 feet away in front of me. I stopped, and gasped. The last time I was here I went home with a new subject for nightmares. But now that I didn't sleep and I had a real Cullen standing two feet to the left of me, what was I afraid of?

I stared up at the familiar windows which wrapped around a good part of the house. I wondered, like that last time, if the furniture remained in tact… if there was still a beautiful grand piano settled cozily atop a low platform.

"Alice," I started. "When you move, do you take everything with you?"

She knew what I meant. "No, actually. Small personal items we may choose to carry along, but large furniture remains at each house. Esme is always so happy to get back to this house; her favorite table is there."

"So the inside is the same as before…"

"Yes."

I shuddered. It was very wise of me not to look in the windows that day. I probably would have crumbled to dust.

"Would you like to come inside?" She offered, curious by my questioning.

"No! Oh, no, thank you though." I still don't think I could stand the sight of… I didn't even finish the thought.

"Okay, then." She stared at me dubiously and headed to the garage.

Of course, every single car was there, looking fabulous. Alice headed around to the back corner of the garage and returned with a gas can. I raised my eyebrows in question.

"We have to drain the tanks when we leave cars… the acid will otherwise destroy the tanks."

"Oh… kay." I knew nothing about cars, but trusted the little pixie.

She finished up, hopped in the driver's seat of Carlisle's car and headed to Charlie's.

"Wanna make a quick stop before we hit the show on the road?"

"Um…" I stammered. "Hm. I suppose I should have called first. Charlie may not be home."

Alice grinned. "He'll be home."

"Right." Of course she would know.

Sure enough, we pulled into Charlie's and it looked like Billy was over, too.

"You go inside Bella, but I'll wait right here."

"Why? You can come, can't you?"

"The reason I'm back with you is a conversation we can skip for later."

"Oh." I guess her presence would be a bit of a shock.

I hopped out and made my way to the door. I heard the game going as I assumed Billy and Charlie sitting in the living room. I knocked.

A slightly disgruntled Charlie lurched off the couch, audibly annoyed by the interruption. But when he made it to the door and saw his favorite girl standing there, his expression lifted immensely.

"Bells! Why, what a pleasant surprise," he chuckled a little awkwardly.

"Hey dad."

"Come in. Billy's here, you can come say hi if you like."

I made my way to sit with Charlie and Billy. We chatted for a bit, and to what I'm sure was Alice's relief we invited Jacob over, instead of my visiting La Push.

When I greeted Jacob at the door I knew he could smell Alice outside. His expression was alarmed.

"Bella, you're not the only vampire here," he whispered lower than the human ears behind us could catch.

"It's okay, Jake, Alice is here."

His eyes bugged with confusion.

"I'll explain later."

He nodded and went casually to the living room.

I enjoyed seeing such harmony. There was me, aware of all this myth before I became part of it. There was my father, whom was aware of it but to only a certain extent; there was Billy, wise and knowledgeable, carrying the myth in his bloodlines but not part of it himself; and then there was Alice outside and Jacob here, fully part of it but defying the laws of it by not hurting each other.

The time spent with such company was never enough, but all too soon Alice was buzzing the cell phone I carried in my pocket and I knew I must get going. We exchanged hugs, and I went outside to the slightly nervous Alice. I assured her Jacob was safe while I hopped on the highway and headed south.

Traveling with Alice was nice. I let her drive most of the time, although I still insisted on driving if she wanted to delve deep into her searching. I wasn't afraid of our getting hurt if she was distracted by a vision—I was more worried about the car.

"Alice, tell me," I began when we were somewhere in northern California. "What do you suppose I must say? I really don't want to scare him away. I just wish to see him, but how do I justify that? 'Edward, I'm still terribly, madly in love with and am as pathetic as to go on a cross-country search just to have a glimpse of your face!' Yep, that will really fly. He'll think I've turned into a stalker."

Alice scoffed. "He will not think you're a stalker." Then she added, "But I suppose it doesn't hurt to just tell the truth of why you came."

My eyes widened. "What? That's idiocy! He'll turn me away so quick, I won't know what hit me!"

She shook her head and muttered under her breath, "Like he will give that much chance at talk."

"What is that supposed to mean, Alice?"

She looked at me rather blankly and sighed, like she had just given up on a difficult math problem. "Nothing… we'll see."

We were relatively quiet for the remainder of the drive. I felt a little homesick as we passed through Arizona, and I dreamed for a while about Phoenix.

These two days of driving passed uneventful. We would be in Mexico within two hours, and as my finger trailed our path on the map, I felt uneasy. Unsure. What did I think I was doing?

* * *

**Thanks again to everyone who has kept up with my story. I feel so special!**

**I also want to thank the TWO people who voted in my poll. I am 99% sure one of those votes is from you, Pixiee, since it came at the same time as your discovering my story. And thanks very very very to the one other person, though I don't know your name....  
I will keep the poll open for one more chapter, but I think I'm just gonna keep it at Rising Sun. Perhaps I'll call another story Always. I chose Rising Sun because it kinda fit with the Twilight Saga titles, ya know?**

**See you all in a week!**

**P.S. I had fun picking out the sneak peeks, so I'm gonna do that again. I'll do it from now on, actually, unless it becomes a pain. Bur for now, review and you will be greatly REWARDED! I can promise this time's sneak preview is going to be _VERY, VERY _good. I know it will be the best ever! I'm bouncing here in my seat because it is going to be so AMAZING! And considering how I'm sick right now, I'll probably have it done really really soon. Don't miss out on a GREAT opportunity! So....**

**Review, Review, Review! Or I'll papercut you infront of Jasper!**


	8. My Love, Always

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight or it's characters. Bummer.**

**Hi everyone. You may be saying; 'Hey! It's Thursday! Why are you posting before Sunday?' Well here's why. I was sick Monday and Tuesday, and so I finished this chapter REALLY early. Normally I would have just waited until Sunday anyways, but I just couldn't stand keeping this from you. Sorry about the last minute sneak peeks, but I'm sure you don't mind the early post.**

**I had a new learning experience Tuesday as I finished this chappy. I learned it's really hard to write with blurry vision.**

**My eyesight is fine, thanks for askin'.**

**Thanks to The Pixiee for egging me on about posting this!**

**Now, enough rambling. READ AND ENJOY!**

* * *

**YOU'LL BE IN MY HEART**

**Phil Collins**

**(listen to it while you read this chappy... please...)**

**Come stop your crying, it will be all right  
Just take my hand, hold it tight  
I will protect you from all around you  
I will be here dont you cry**

****

For one so small, you seem so strong  
My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm  
This bond between us cant be broken  
I will be here dont you cry

And youll be in my heart  
Yes, youll be in my heart  
From this day on  
Now and forever more  
Youll be in my heart  
No matter what they say  
Youll be here in my heart  
Always

Why cant they understand the way we feel  
They just dont trust what they cant explain  
I know were different but deep inside us  
Were not that different at all

And youll be in my heart  
Yes, youll be in my heart  
From this day on  
Now and forever more  
Youll be in my heart  
No matter what they say  
Youll be here in my heart  
Always

Dont listen to them, cause what do they know  
We need each other, to have and to hold  
Theyll see in time, I know

When destiny calls you, you must be strong  
I may not be with you, but you've got to hold on  
Theyll see in time, I know

Well show them together 'cause...

Youll be in my heart  
Believe me, youll be in my heart  
Ill be there from this day on  
Now and forever more

Youll be in my heart  
No matter what they say  
Youll be here in my heart always

**Always...  
Ill be with you  
Ill be there for you always  
Always and always  
Just look over your shoulder  
Just look over your shoulder  
Just look over your shoulder  
Ill be there always  
**

* * *

We passed into Mexico maybe an hour ago. Alice decided to keep the car, since Mexico city was so far south, and it was sunny here. That will be a real pain. When we're on foot we'll have to travel at night… like vampires. We might even meet some.

I laughed aloud at my strange notion, though I really didn't see why it was funny. Alice shot me a questioning look, but I just shook my head. Maybe I was going crazy.

We eventually reached Queretaro, and Alice wanted to park the car. Some friends of Jasper's had a house here, and though they weren't home they told Alice she could leave the car. I was surprised that nomad vampires had a house, but Alice said it was cover from sunlight for when they are here. Figures.

Alice knew how anxious I was to get moving, so as soon as the sun set we headed south. After a few minutes Alice stopped. Her face smoothed and her eyes were elsewhere.

"We're going the right direction. He probably hasn't moved."

I still held the roadmap from earlier. It extended far enough down into Mexico so as that I could see just how close we were. Each time I looked and saw we were a little bit closer, I felt a shiver of excitement run down my spine.

Every half hour Alice stopped and checked that we were going the right direction. One time she looked over and grinned at me mischievously.

"What?"

"You're going to agree to go shopping with me sometime."

"Oh?"

"Yes. Right now actually."

"What?"

Sure enough, she had led me right to a small department store.

"Alice…"

"Trust me. No buts. Come on."

I was incredibly surprised at her behavior. Why was she shopping at Mexico's version of _Kmart?_

She obviously saw what she needed in her vision, because she didn't look at any of the racks as she flew past them, me in tow. She abruptly stopped in front of a rack with some lightweight blouses.

She picked one up- without even checking the size- and dashed back to the register. When we had purchased it she handed it to me.

"What? Alice, what is this for?"

"That red you are wearing is a nice color on you, but not your best."

I took a second look at the blouse and its color. Navy blue. Oh.

"Alice, this is unnecessary…"

"Hey, I said no buts. You are going to look good."

I shook my head. I didn't have a prayer of winning this one. Then I rolled my eyes.

"Nothing for yourself?" I asked her.

She grunted. "No. Certainly not. I'm only letting you wear this stuff because it's our only choice, and because you are so accustomed to wearing it." Ouch.

We ducked into the bathroom so I wouldn't have to change outside. As I walked out I glanced in the mirror over the sink. I had to admit, it was very nice. It was perfectly form fitting, but not too tight. The scoop neck was perfectly shaped, not too low or too high. And the dark blue in contrast against my white skin was stunning.

If I were still human, a tear would have escaped the corner of my eye. This is why I never bought anything like this after…

I turned around to see an appraising Alice.

"You like?"

"Yes. Girl, you are _stunning_."

I ducked my head. "Okay, let's keep moving."

I saw an impatient store clerk staring at us. I realized that Alice got us in the door just before they closed. I smiled sweetly as we left.

"Let's really hustle now," Alice said as we walked out the door. "We're getting quite close, and I don't have enough patience to get hindered by the sun." My stomach did a nervous little flip at the word "close."

Once again we were off and running, and Alice was dragging me along full tilt.

As we ran, I tried to have a little bit of a script as to what I was going to say. I was deathly afraid that as soon as I saw his eyes, my brain would turn to mush and I would babble about like an idiot. Or I would start saying things I didn't want to, just blurt out the first thing that came to mind, like before. He would dazzle me into telling the truth, and I don't want him to know the whole truth of my mission. I was pathetic, really; no one in their right mind would be doing what I am right now. It was a pointless errand, and probably will annoy him. Yet; what was this strange feeling he wanted me to come?

I decided I would tell him I didn't want him to feel guilty. I would say that I ran into the Cullens up in Denali and they told me he was disappeared after he left me. He shouldn't feel bad, that the time he gave me was more than I could ask for. He should go back to his family, who terribly misses him.

It would probably be wise to mention that he should not in the least bit feel bad about my transformation. He would most likely feel bad about Victoria getting to me, and it would be better if I told him myself, not have him hear it through someone else. And I'll mention that even though I am a vampire, I will stay out of his way and not be a pest. Although I'll add the fact that I may hang out with Alice sometimes… I can ask to be with my best friend, right? And that will give me a chance to see his face...

Alice stopped abruptly. I skidded to a halt and doubled back to where she was.

"Alice, what's wrong?"

"I can't go any farther. He'll hear me."

I turned a little paler.

"Alice…"

"We're close. Do you see where we are?"

We were in a small collection of run-down houses, built very close together.

"Yes."

She quick checked a vision. "Good. This area is built very square. If I am right, you will go down six streets from here. On the seventh, make a left. Somewhere, there is a house painted a pale… eeh, a sickly looking green. Poor taste. He's in there, in the attic."

My stomach did a few more flips. "Please, come with…"

"No. He's gonna hear me, and that will ruin it."

A scary thought occurred to me. "What if he can hear _me?_ What if my change fixed the glitch in my brain?"

"I don't think so. Kate told me you couldn't feel her, and Eleazar said you were a shield. Actually, Kate said you were able to extend your shield to protect others. Amazing."

I forgot about that. "Oh! You _can_ come with me. I'm pretty good at my shield. I can shield _you!_"

"No, Bella. This is you, and you only."

We had another short stare off, but I was the one to cave this time.

"Fine. But if I get lost, it's your fault."

She grinned wide. "See you in a while."

I rolled my eyes and made a mad dash down the street.

One, two, three… I counted the streets carefully. Trust me to ruin the day.

Five… Six… Seven. I headed left.

There were so many houses, all cramped together. I looked and looked, but couldn't find a green house in any shade. I was starting to think I made a mistake when, right at the very end, I caught a glimpse of green.

There it was.

I slowly walked up to the house. There didn't seem to be any humans in the house at the time. I carefully climbed through the open window, not wanting to announce my presence with a noisy door. I saw the stairs leading to the attic, and prayed I wouldn't step on a loud stair. I remembered how- Edward (the name hurt less, perhaps since I was so close) could walk up and down Charlie's stairs without making noise on the squeaky board. I hoped I had the same charm on noise.

I counted each stair as I passed it, trying to calm my nerves. I wondered if I were to burp (something vampires probably couldn't do), would I be surrounded by butterflies?

I managed to drag my feet up the stairs noiselessly. Nobody would know I was here. These last steps I didn't know I could do. I realized my eyes were snapped shut. I opened them to my surroundings.

The attic felt quite large compared to what it looked like outside. It was somewhat divided in two by random pieces of plywood bolted to the supporting beams. They were very old, though, and had many large holes created by termites, punches, or old age.

Perhaps the house next to this one was connected, and this was the wall dividing the two houses. I tip-toed over to hide behind one larger surviving piece of plywood, and peeked around to see what was on the other side.

I grit my teeth together to keep my breath from escaping me.

I saw my angel sitting there, on the floor. He was curled up, hunched over with his head in his hands. There were a few pieces of pummeled plywood near him, some turned to sawdust. His cell phone lay open a few feet away.

As I watched him, he changed position. He leaned back against the wall with his eyes closed, and his hand absentmindedly combed through his beautiful bronze hair before reaching down and crushing another little piece of spare plywood.

I whirled so my back was against the wall that shielded me. The look on his face; he was so tormented, emtpy. I couldn't stand it. It shot right through my hole- no, it created yet another. It was physically painful for me to see him in such agony, especially so permanent, like it would never leave his beautiful face.

I turned around to look at him again, but he had vanished, no longer sitting there. Before I could to wonder….

I felt a pair of arms wrap around my shoulders.

I gasped, but before I had time to yelp, I heard my angel sigh.

"Bella."

My body melted right there. It was too easy to believe he sounded relieved. Like he wanted me to be there.

I craned my neck around to look at his gorgeous face, but froze. I felt something press into my hair. It felt like… his _lips_?

He sighed again. "My Bella."

At this point I was seriously afraid of my hole. How was all this going to hurt it? But when I tried to find it, it was… gone. Disappeared. I wouldn't have known it existed. I wrapped my arms around his.

"Edward," I breathed. Instead of pain, his name was light and sweet.

He turned me around. I had every intention of avoiding his eyes, but my own eyes betrayed me and looked into his.

All I could do was gawk in silence. His eyes were pitch black, something I had not seen since the first time we met. Even then they had not been this dark. But this time, there was no malice; the most wonderful expression came out from them. One of love, joy, relief- but it could only be my imagination, right? Or were these for real?

_No, Bella! Stop, you're going to let yourself hope!_ I shouted over and over in my head. This plan was never going to work if I let myself hope. My lying never improved much, and I was sure my eyes were still an open book.

As I stared at him like an idiot, he uncurled one arm from my shoulder, dropping the other around my waist. The free hand he lifted to gently mold around my face.

_Dammit Bella, _I said to myself. I had begun sobbing.

My hand, too, longed to reach up and touch his face. How I longed to trace my fingers along the perfect shapes of his eyes, his nose, his lips … but if I did such a thing, I would likely scare him away.

As I sobbed, though, I collapsed. A vampire can collapse? He caught me gently in his ivory arms, and picked me up. He carried me over to where he had been previously sitting, but instead of setting me down next to him, he curled me up in his lap. I found myself lying against Edward's perfectly sculpted chest. Thank heavens I didn't have tears to soil his shirt.

"Shh, Bella, Shh. It's all right. It's okay. I'm here. Shh," he crooned while rubbing my back.

I just couldn't take this. I knew better than to come here. How could I have thought I could just wander in and pretend like it didn't matter? Stupid, stupid, stupid! All I've done so far is make a fool of myself!

We lay there in silence for a very long time. I sobbed like a looney and he just gently tried to calm me down. Sometimes he rubbed my back, sometimes he traced up and down my arm, or played with my hair. But… I must have imagined him smelling it.

Eventually I took back control of the heaving in my chest. I looked up into his eyes again, apologetically, but saw something odd. Did his face seem happier? With this new brain I very much remember the expression chiseled permanently into the planes of his face. One word I had used earlier was "empty." Now there was no trace of it, though he still looked slightly agonized. He seemed so much more… alive. Could that stupid hope have crept into my imagination, giving me more hallucinations?

As I was gazing deep into his eyes, my hand crept up from around my face to touch his. I tried so hard to pull it back. I actually was battling! My self control was waning, but by the time my hand got halfway there, I managed to drop it with a heavy sigh. Shoot, he definitely will have noticed that.

Before I could speculate anymore, he spoke. "Bella, I'm so sorry. Please listen. You can't imagine how…"

I held my finger to his lips to cut him off. "Don't you dare say guilty. I'm the one who should be apologizing, Edward. I came here… too…" I was still gasping from the sobfest, "tell… you how much your family misses you. I …" gasp, "ran into… them a little while ago, and they said you were off alone. You can't feel guilty. It's not… your… fault…" I was unable to continue. My gasps were uncontrollable.

"Shh. It's all right." He paused. "What? How could you possibly think I just felt _guilty?_" he asked. It sounded like _guilt_ wasn't the right word for his actions.

I waited until I knew I was in control of my voice. "Why else would you be here?" Then I realized. "Did something happen? What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "I don't think you understand."

"Don't understand what? Please tell me… your family seems alright, so it can't be them… what happened?"

Instead of answering my question, though, he latched his thumb and forefinger under my chin and lifted it up. He seemed to appraise my face for a minute. "You are immensely beautiful. I didn't think it was possible for such a thing to happen, but you are more beautiful than I have ever seen you. Who did this? Alice? Carlisle?"

I pulled away and buried my head in his chest. He would not like this answer.

"Esme? I wouldn't think…" he paused. "Bella, tell me." His voice was anxious, pleading. He lifted my head back up, and was obviously trying to dazzle me. It worked.

I buried my head back into his shirt before I blurted out the answer. "Victoria."

He was unexpectantly silent. I looked back up to see his reaction. His face had turned hard. His expression became darker and darker, and for a second, he looked like… like a vampire. A small beautiful growl emitted from his chest.

I remembered my script. "Please don't worry. Even though I'm immortal, I'm not going to annoy you and darken your life. I will stay as much out of your way as possible… but I may see Alice occasionally…" I had to stop. I felt the traitor sobs wanting to come back. Saying these words hurt so much more than I expected, I just hoped he didn't notice it!

He sighed, his face turning gentle again. "No. You certainly don't understand." He shook his head. "I would be very interested in hearing that particular tale some other time, but there are more important matters in my hands."

"Like what?"

Before I knew what was happening, I felt his lips crush mine.

This kiss was nothing like I knew before. For one thing, his lips did not feel so cold and hard as they used to, for obvious reasons. But this was harder, stronger. It took me a minute to realize that he wasn't holding back.

I tried not to respond. He was just feeling too guilty, and I wanted to show him that he shouldn't be. Yet my brain was too fried to last longer than a millisecond. My lips were moving with his. I had always dreamed of him kissing me like this before, why does it have to be now, when it doesn't matter?

But as always, he stopped too soon. That kiss could have lasted seconds or hours, I had no idea. I tried to ignore the hungry look in his eyes as he watched for my reaction, which hopefully was smooth and non-showy. Probably not.

"Please don't," I whispered and lowered my eyes.

He seemed a little shocked. "Why?" he paused, realization and a hint of dread spreading across his face. "Have you moved on? I'm so sorry, I didn't…"

He stopped at the confusion in _my _face. "What was that? No, I haven't moved on." Drat, I wasn't supposed to say that. "But that doesn't mean you can start doing things you don't want to do. I know you enough to know that you take too much responsibility for everything, and you are willing to hurt yourself to make others feel good."

"Bella." He took my face between both of his hands and looked deep down into my eyes, paralyzing me of course. "Every day has been my own personal nightmare. Ever since that darkest day in my life, I have battled. Battled with my sanity, my reason, and my own personal greed. Every time I close my eyes, I see your face. Not only did I miss you greatly, my dear, but I felt as if a part of me was missing. You have my heart, Bella, and no one else could ever have it. When I let you in Forks, I left a part of me, too. Nothing about me has been the same, until now, when you walked up those stairs. You have my heart, Bella. And it will always be yours. Forever."

There was something churning up in the huge mind of mine. Some realization that was working like a train to burst through the walls. He leaned over and kissed my forehead before repeating, "Forever."

The click inside my head was so loud, I'm sure he heard it. I looked up with new realization sparkling my eyes. "You love me."

My favorite crooked smile danced across his lips. "Always."

Like I had been wishing to do all along, I reached up and placed my right hand against his cheek. He mirrored me, and our left hands were tightly laced together.

"I love you my sick, masochistic lion."

"I love you my sweet, beautiful lamb. My Bella."

I smiled.

And together we whispered, "Always."

* * *

**Poll still open;) You see why.**

**AWWW! I'm so happy. To see them together again is so touching. *sniff sniff***

**Oh, and I literally JUST realized something. The song was not an inspiration for my use of "Always." Actually, I didn't put two and two together until I pasted the lyrics above and checked them for errors. Really. It was a song that tore at my heart strings while I was reading New Moon. It seemed apropriate, and it has a soft spot in my heart.**

**Thanks everyone for reading. I really hope this chapter made you all happy, and the reunion doesn't disappoint;)**

**Review and tell me! lol. You will get another sneak peek!**


	9. Note

**Hey all.....**

**So sorry, you probably were all excited about me FINALLY posting a new chapter and rushed over to read it. Well, this is just an author note... I'm gonna be updating the existing story, so I though I would write a quick note to give you a heads up as to what is happening. I'm gonna be deleting the first three chapters of this and putting them into a totally seperate story. (The first three are the story in VicPOV). The reason I'm doing this is because it is SO different than the main story itself, and rather long for a prologue... and I think people read it and go away. And I want them to see the REAL story! So beware of the updates.**

**Although, Ive been such a selfish little twerp for not updating, so expect the next chapter in the near future.... hopefully within a week...**


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